


The One Who Loved +

by SapphicMetatron



Series: One of a Kind [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Complete, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Illustrations, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rewrite, Slow Burn, ill put them at the beginning of each chapter, ish, mentions of abuse, some trigger warnings in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26610637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicMetatron/pseuds/SapphicMetatron
Summary: Whatever motivated Queen Angella to approach her then, under the starless night sky, Adora may never know.(This work is a rewrite and deviates a lot from the original.)
Relationships: Adora & Angella (She-Ra), Adora/Angella (She-Ra)
Series: One of a Kind [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936942
Comments: 28
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a remasterization of the original [The One Who Loved.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24101845/chapters/58017010) I (try to) explain why I chose to do this on [my tumblr.](https://walt-ki.tumblr.com/post/629733868321357824/updates-ii-rewrites-or-something) This rewrite deviates quite a bit and explores the characters and relationships differently, so it won't be like rereading the original word for word.
> 
> As always, biggest thanks to my best friend for beta reading, keeping me going and just being awesome.

Life in Bright Moon wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. She had a nice room in a huge castle that served her all sorts of delicious food, and she had friends- Bow and Glimmer- who cared about her as though she had grown up with them.

Being She-Ra helped with her popularity. Most people felt inclined to conveniently ignore her background.

Some still suspected her, though. And rightfully so. Queen Angella most certainly hated her. To no surprise, really. She suffered a great loss at the hands of the Horde.

So whatever motivated the queen to approach her on the balcony, under the starless night sky, Adora did not know. 

She was alerted of Queen Angella’s approach by the clicking of her heels. She turned to find her a few feet away from her, hair billowing in the breeze, wings glowing, hands clasped together before her chest.

They stood in silence for far too long, out there where the air was slightly chilly. Adora feared speaking, gripped the veranda until her knuckles turned pale as every muscle in her body froze. _Fuck_ was this woman scary, nearly a full foot taller than her, and looking perfectly aloof. Any sound, any off-movement (and it’s not like Adora knew what was proper to begin with) could set off her mighty anger. 

But Queen Angella just _stared,_ her expression shifting from neutral to...troubled as her cool eyes studied Adora. Did she do something wrong? 

The wait was agonizing. Adora was going to chew off the inside of her cheek if she didn’t say something. So she gulped, tried to summon some moisture into her tongue and lips, and stammered, “c-can I help you?” She thought to snap into a salute a second too late, “Y-your Majesty?”

Queen Angella flinched, as if forcibly slammed back into reality from some mental journey. It was odd to see her shift from foot to foot, fingers threading together and wringing. Her wings even fluttered, and she seemed so...vulnerable?

She sighed, shoulders falling, “it’s alright. At ease.”

Adora felt anything _but_ easy. Her arms fell at her sides and her feet were planted shoulder-width apart, but she was a tense spring ready to appease the queen.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

Adora gaped at her. _Uh, ma’am, this is your castle. You can be wherever._ “U-uh, sure. I mean, no, I don’t mind.” She said instead, forcing a grin.

The queen smiled at her so faintly it might’ve been a trick of the dim lighting, but she moved to stand by her side anyway.

The air between them was unbreathable. The seconds trickled by as slow as tar. Truth was, Adora minded, she minded a lot. And she was running the math in her head for how long her reputation would take to recover if she suddenly transformed into She-Ra, leapt off the balcony, and ran off for the rest of the night. The queen’s presence was _crushing._

“Adora, I…” The queen began, making all her hairs stand. Her eyes were distant. She was struggling with words. “You…” She exhaled and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Pardon me, I am rarely _this_ speechless, but you confuse me.”

“Uhhh…” Adora clamped her mouth shut. She had to stop making that dumb noise. “I-If it’s about the She-Ra stuff, then don’t worry, I’m pretty confused too.”

“No, it’s not about that.” She took a single step closer, now facing her fully. “Well, it’s tangentially related. You have...exceeded my expectations.”

 _Whoa._ The rush of pleasant warmth that swelled her chest was something Adora was _not_ ready for. “Really?”

“You have healed Plumeria, defended Salineas, liberated Dryl, and my daughter has returned home safe and... _mostly_ unharmed, but I suppose that has to be enough for me at this point.” She took a deep breath, as though the next words needed to be squeezed out. “I _never_ wanted to be wrong about you, Adora. I know how I came across that night.”

“I don’t blame you _at all,_ Your Majesty.” Adora had to rein back a hand that threatened to settle on the queen’s arm. She tried to inject some humor into her tone, anything to make the exchange less awkward. “I mean, _really,_ a random Horde soldier stumbling around your castle in the middle of the night?”

 _“That_ is what I don’t get. How?”

“H-how?”

Queen Angella blinked at her, truly bewildered, then began to pace around. “You-you’re _heroic_ , and noble, and genuinely seem to care about protecting Etheria. If you pledged yourself so easily to us so soon after leaving the Horde, then you must be the kind of person who is simply…” she paused her frantic walking, her gaze landing heavy with meaning on Adora, “ _good.”_

“I-I, I don’t- you’re _really_ flattering me right now, but-”

“But _how_ can that be?” Her pondering circles continued on the tiles. “How, if you were raised in the very cradle for the worst evils that have plagued Etheria for _decades?”_

Did she actually expect Adora to be able to answer that? 

“Uh-” _fuck. Sounding like an idiot again._ Adora cleared her throat. “ _Your Majesty,_ sir, ma’am...I _really_ wish I could answer that for you, but...”

Queen Angella shook her head. She seemed to ground herself by walking up to the railing and placing her hands on the material. A lot calmer, she asked, “then, could you tell me _how_ you ended up in the Horde?”

Adora smiled at her. “I can answer that.”

Her story was a short one, and it did not need many words to be told. Adora had been an orphan who didn’t have much _joining_ to do; the choice was simply made for her, and Shadow Weaver always reminded her of this. She found her, she took her in and raised her, therefore, Adora _owed_ her. “...and even if I’m all the way out here, I feel like she’s gonna show up, turn the corner, find me and-”

Wait, what were they talking about again?

Adora felt her organs turn themselves inside out in embarrassment. Such a good job she had been doing, keeping these demons from the Horde to herself, away from the squeaky clean purity of Bright Moon and its residents. It was all wasted now. Adora couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

She feared focusing on Queen Angella’s expression, but once she did she found...she had been watching, listening intently, gifting her with attention wrapped in pretty paper with a bow on top. Her, the Queen of Bright Moon, who lost her beloved husband to the same group Adora believed in with heart and soul not that long ago.

And damn did it hurt.

“Adora?” The queen asked, raising her eyebrows in concern. 

Crestfallen, she murmured, “I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

“What? No.” There was disbelief in her tone. She bridged another few of the inches that stood between them. “I would like to know more. This _Shadow Weaver..._ she raised you?” A nod answered that. “How often is it that the Horde recruits children or infants?”

Adora hummed in thought, “I knew most of my squad since we were kids. Hell, they’re in some of my earliest memories.”

“Adora…” The queen held a hand above her heart, as if holding it together while it shattered at the new knowledge.

“You really didn’t know?”

“Perhaps...I wished to remain ignorant. It’s admittedly a lot easier to fight your enemy if you demonize them.” The new knowledge settled on top of Queen Angella’s shoulders.

“Tell me about it.” Adora chuckled, a humorless puff of air that flared her nostrils, as she remembered the countless simulations that turned the pretty sparkly pastel princesses into bright-red, saw-toothed ruthless monsters. It had been _so_ easy then. “It’s not your fault, though. It doesn’t make anything okay. You _should_ fight back.”

She noticed she had taken a step forward, reducing the space between the queen and the warrior to something minimal. Adora’s hand wanted to do that comforting thing again, but she clenched it into a fist before she was kicked into the moat that surrounded the castle for touching the queen.

However, Queen Angella’s eyes landed on her hovering hand. She had noticed the gesture. Shit.

But the last thing she expected was for Queen Angella to clasp Adora’s hand between both her palms. She glanced at her, _is this alright?_ Adora tried to smooth her features and unclench her fist. The queen squeezed her reassuringly. Firm, present, steadying.

“I’m not sure where I stand with you, or whether my words will have any value.”

“For the record, you’re kind of my boss, and I _really_ don’t want you to hate me, so…”

Angella laughed, shaking her head, though her brow furrowed. “ _For the record,_ I never hated you.” Was she _teasing_ her? The queen patted the back of her hand, as though the gesture turned the conversation into something more solid, more serious. “No, Adora...this _Shadow Weaver_ reminds me of...a demon that haunted Micah, my husband.”

 _Oh, him._ Adora’s body tensed all over again. She sensed a minefield being laid out in front of her as this topic was brought up.

The queen continued, eyes forlorn on the horizon and seeing the past, “she never quite left him. Most of the time he lived carefree in his world of sorcery and wonders, but other days, she came to him. Her poison attacked him all over again, whispered words of a false love that almost killed him once.”

“False...love?”

She nodded. “False love. A selfish need that only drains, takes but never gives, not without conditions.” Her thumb ran across Adora’s knuckles. “Shadow Weaver may have raised you. Perhaps she even nourished your noble spirit when she had every chance to crush it, but never doubt that she had something to gain from you.”

_Something...to gain._

“And if this hadn’t been the case, she would have crushed you without a second thought.”

_Crushed…_

That word sounded so...visceral, so cruel. Like Shadow Weaver’s knuckles slapping across Catra’s face, like the dark magic of the Black Garnet forcing her joints to be locked in place, like her sharp tongue cutting deep and wide.

The sheer disparity in their upbringing made sense. Why Adora had been promoted, why she was pulled into Shadow Weaver’s lap when she cried, why she was given an extra ration bar when they thought nobody was watching, save for those mismatched orbs that never quite left her.

She stood to gain nothing from giving Catra the same kindness.

But Hordak would have punished Shadow Weaver if some harm fell on his budding killing machines. She couldn’t get rid of Catra. Couldn’t quite…

_Crush her._

Adora gasped and shielded herself from the walls of darkness that closed in around her. Except these walls were warm and soft, and a voice beyond the darkness cooed at her. _It’s alright, Adora. You’re safe._

Her sight faded in. Her breathing took a little longer to even out. But once Adora returned to herself, she started panicking about something completely different. Queen Angella was hugging her.

She smelled...nice. Flowers?

They came apart, but the queen didn’t let go of her shoulders just yet. Her smile was kind and understanding.

“Sorry. Again.” Choked out Adora.

“And, once again, for what?”

“I keep freaking out on you for things that…” _things that you shouldn’t care about, because I used to be your enemy._ And if it hadn’t been for the ridiculous random chance of finding the Sword of Protection, she would’ve joined the fray. Razed their world. Fought her now best friends, _Angella’s daughter._

What the hell, though. She was fighting her best friend anyway. _Catra._

“There is a lot going on in that head of yours, is there?”

Adora’s smile was more of a grimace. “What did...your husband do? To fight his demon?”

“He turned to the people that loved him, _truly_ loved him.” The amethyst in her gaze warmed with affection that stared through Adora, at someone who was no longer among them. The queen closed her eyes, then turned to the forests of Etheria. “You’ll realize there is a lot of true love around you, Adora. I hope you’re able to find it someday.”

Adora averted her eyes. “I-I don’t know…”

“I’m well aware my Glimmer already likes you very much.”

She jumped in surprise. “Y-your Majesty, n-no offense t-to your- to Glimmer, but she and I- we’re just friends-”

Queen Angella’s wings flared dramatically. “Oh! I did _not_ mean that _at all!”_

The two flustered women suddenly came apart, reforming that treacherous chasm that had stood between them at the beginning.

The queen played with the edge of her cape. “I meant friends, family- Lord did Micah have friends in _every_ corner of Etheria-” she paused suddenly. Something sharp and murderous possessed the glare that stabbed through Adora. “You and my daughter _aren’t_ dating, are you?”

“No!” Adora shook her head, waved her arms, did any gesture possible to communicate a negative answer. “I-I just said, we’re friends! Just friends!” _Please don’t exile me._

Queen Angella pursed her lips. “I see. Good. I’m not sure what I would do if that weren’t the case.” Whatever she imagined made her shudder. “If you’ll excuse me, good night.”

Adora didn’t exhale until the queen’s clicking footsteps disappeared completely.

_What the fuck was that?_

That night had been one of many where sleep eluded her like a just out of reach memory. 

She didn’t bother Glimmer, not after everything she had done for her, including the new bed, and the sleeping on the floor with the Horde soldier despite being goddamn royalty. No, instead she wandered around the castle until she found a spot that drew her in to settle.

Nothing really changed much between her and Queen Angella since that night at the balcony, which kinda sucked, because Adora _really_ wanted to earn her trust. Maybe then she’d sleep easy knowing she wouldn’t be tossed out of the castle, bed and all, at any moment.

As if. 

That night, her body collapsed against a wall in the middle of the hall. She was a ball on the floor, knees drawn to her chest, exhausted but unable to _fucking sleep._ Everything chased her in the darkness. Everything, Catra, Shadow Weaver, Hordak- the darkness itself, closing in, suffocating-

“Adora?”

She gasped, raising her gaze to find- “Queen Angella? Wh-what a surprise.”

The queen didn’t seem all that surprised herself. The ball of moonstone light hovering above her fingertips revealed the concerned stare she fixed on her. Long white robes replaced her usual queenly attire, and her bare feet padded along the cool floor closer to Adora. “It’s three in the morning. Does this happen often?”

“The walking around the castle or the not being able to sleep? Because yes to both.” Adora looked the queen up and down. “Aaand you too, apparently?”

The queen smiled faintly. Or maybe it was an odd shadow from the tiny light so close to her features. “Come with me.”

Queen Angella took them to the royal kitchens. It was so different from the rest of the castle, from its pristine and practical design, all metal and white tiles. Adora felt bad setting foot in such a clean place, but if the queen didn’t mind…

She stopped by a metal kitchen island, watching the queen fumble confusedly around the drawers and cabinets. Of _course_ she wouldn’t know the layout of her own damn kitchen. Adora bit her lower lip and clamped both hands over her mouth, all futile attempts to contain a snicker.

“Where _is_ that…” Among clattering pans, she found the kettle. The search for the tea box was a lot less chaotic. A sad sigh left the queen as she watched the flames of the stove flicker under the kettle.

“You okay, Your Majesty?”

“Yes. I-I’m sorry, I forgot to ask- do you like tea?”

_Tea._ Shadow Weaver forced these disgusting infusions down their throats when they were sick or showed one too many extra pounds during weigh-ins. Puberty had been a bitch to Adora in particular, and she could almost hear a skinny Catra’s raspy cackles when she watched her down the bitter drink.

Adora must’ve gotten so wrapped up in her memories that it showed on her face. Queen Angella’s eyes dimmed. “Ah, well…”

“N-no! I’m good, I’ll try it!”

She wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that this particular sleepless expedition would lead to the Queen of Bright Moon politely pouring her a cup of chamomile tea. And next to Shadow Weaver’s devil water, this was...nice.

Not amazing. This didn’t hold a candle to the nice breads and cakes that opened her eyes to a delicious culinary world beyond ration bars, but...she wouldn’t change this. Wouldn’t trade the presence of the queen gracefully sipping across from her in silence.

With the warmth of the tea settled in her belly, and it's inexplicable relaxing effects shutting down her racing brain, Adora felt ready to go lay down.

“Do I make you nervous?”

A repeat of that night hadn’t been in her plans, but Adora wasn’t complaining. This question, however, she didn’t know how to answer.

She was taking advantage of Queen Angella’s patience by calmly drinking her tea and running a finger across the metal before replying, “nnn…”

Her gaze turned sharp as a knife. “Be honest.”

“N- _yes.” Holy fuck, yes._ Adora was all but hiding behind her cup, almost choking on the warm liquid. 

The queen propped her chin on her knuckles, leaning closer over the counter. “You know, you don’t _have_ to follow me here just because I say so.”

_But you’re the queen and-_

Her mind went quiet, like a train hissing and shrieking as it halted in its tracks. Adora set down the cup before it slipped from her hands.

_Why are you here?_

Suddenly, it was Adora who couldn’t understand Queen Angella. For once, she looked at her, _really_ looked at her, without fear or apprehension. The queen watched her just as closely, studying Adora for the words that failed to leave her lips.

And...well, she was fucking gorgeous. But that was a given. Queen Angella, the literal angel, was beautiful. Everything about that sentence was redundant.

Adora exhaled. The queen was beautiful, and had been nothing but patient and caring. Maybe...there was nothing to worry about anymore. Maybe the queen trusted her now and never hated her. _Maybe you can actually listen to what people tell you, you damn dork._

“I’m glad you keep finding me.” She said finally, her gaze dropping to the liquid in her cup. “It’s hard being alone with...certain thoughts.”

“And you never seek anyone out?”

“I don’t want to be a burden-more than I already have.” Restless and frustrated, Adora paced around. “I’m She-Ra, I’m supposed to be fixing things not-not making problems, not having you get me tea when the Horde has hurt you enough!”

Queen Angella slid her tea to the side. She meant business. “Adora, you are not a Horde soldier anymore, have not been since I allowed you to remain at my castle.”

The terseness in her tone froze Adora in her tracks. The two women faced each other, held apart by the thick air that formed between them.

The queen’s expression spelled trouble, until it melted into that...gentle concern, almost pleading. “You are more than She-Ra. You are a young woman who should not- _could not_ shoulder this alone.”

“But I-”

“ _And_ if I burn myself heating up some water, then that is my own fault for being so frustratingly clumsy around kitchen appliances.” Done with her speech, the queen reached for her mug and brought it to her lips.

“Your Majesty?”

She paused just before taking a sip. “Mm?”

Adora smiled, and it surprisingly didn’t require any extra effort. It was real, it came from the heart. “Thanks. For this.”

Angella smiled back, and there was no denying it this time. She smiled, her eyes magically turning so friendly and warm. “It’s...my pleasure.”

In their next encounter a few nights later, Queen Angella decided to start _something_ of a conversation. “Is there anything you can tell me about the Fright Zone?”

“Huh? Are you planning an assault? An undercover mission? I’ll do it!”

“No! It’s two in the morning and I am physically incapable of thinking about warfare. I meant...your experiences in the Horde. What it was like living there. If you’re comfortable.”

“Oh, uh...phew, where do I even begin? I’m not much of a storyteller.”

“If I wanted a story I’d pick up a book, Adora.”

“Okay, well. _Ahem._ It’s not the _worst_ place ever, unless you’re from literally anywhere else other than the Fright Zone, then it probably is. You’re almost never, ever alone…”

“...and we _almost_ got caught with the booze in our hands while we were sneaking out, but Catra went and distracted the Force Captain while we ran, and-”

“Alright, let me understand.” Angella scooted forward in her couch, looking up at Adora with an arched eyebrow. “You risked punishment for some cheap _alcohol?”_

“Y...well, yeah, but we were _sixteen._ I have my priorities straight now. At least I think I do.” She lowered herself at the very edge of her own couch. There she quickly learned, the cloud-like cushions wouldn’t devour her as easily. “I only think about this now because I planned out the _whole_ operation, and it almost turned out okay until _Kyle_ went ahead and dropped one of the bottles on our way back.”

Adora started feeling a whole lot better about these tea talks when Queen Angella decided to invite her to her own chambers. Not only was it more comfortable than the royal kitchens, but it felt like a display of trust as she was welcomed into the queen’s personal space.

The room was simply huge, a home in its own right within another home, and pleasantly decorated in the Bright Moon pastel themes and soft curving shapes. Adora knew next to nothing about interior design, except that the colors looked pretty and the furniture was well organized.

The lounging area was far enough away from the huge bed that it went ignored. This was nothing but a nice chat between two friends in just another room within the castle.

Huh, friends.

“And then what happened?” Angella shifted in her seat, enthralled by her story.

Without that huge cyan cape draping over her shoulders, her appearance was less broad and more approachable. Though her long neck and clavicles were...really hard to ignore.

“Adora?”

“Right!” _What the hell?_ She cleared her throat and pushed down a blush. “A lieutenant heard the noise and caught us. He said he wouldn’t report us if we cleaned up the mess and got out of there ASAP.”

“That’s awfully nice of him.”

“Yeah.” This late into their meeting, there was only a puddle of cold tea left in her mug. Her hands itched for something to grab, something to distract from the thoughts, so she reached for it anyway. “I think he understood. Not...not everyone is bad in the Horde.” The last dregs were gross and concentrated, but down her throat they went.

It did nothing to quell the sudden wave of anguish that possessed her. “And now I’m fighting them.”

Under those helmets she saw souls that believed they did the right thing, she saw infants and children who had little choice for what their lives would become. She saw her friends, she saw _herself._

Catra, her lively eyes filled with betrayal, her claws sinking into her skin as her words did. Adora betrayed them, she hurt them.

She-Ra or not, hero or not, Adora would always hurt _someone_ that didn’t quite deserve it.

The cushion sank right next to her, a pair of arms pulled her into a grounding embrace. Adora only just realized she was crying when her temple settled on Angella’s shoulder. Sobs wracked her body, snot stuffed her nose. Everything about this was ugly but the queen held her all the same.

“I’m sorry.” She said. Not _how dare you_ for sympathizing with the enemy. _I’m sorry._

All Adora wanted to understand was _how,_ how could Queen Angella muster this kindness?

Maybe it was an angelic being thing.

Adora had dreams about drowning in quicksand. She was simply lying there, letting it take her.

It climbed up her hands, up her cheeks, creeped closer and closer to her mouth and nose. Attempts to sit up and kick only sank her down further. She screamed, “help! Someone!”

“Help!” She inhaled her last breath and squeezed her eyes shut.

But when she opened them, all was still. Adora was alive and well and...in Queen Angella’s chambers. Panting heavily and sweating into her pretty couch.

She didn’t feel too bad, though. The damn thing was probably responsible for her nightmares with its asphyxiating softness, and the blanket had tangled around her legs. Wrestling the material, she crawled around clumsily until she rolled off and fell to the ground with an _oof._

“Ow…” _What a morning._ Rubbing a sore elbow, she got to her feet. The room was completely devoid of the queen’s presence as far as she could see.

Did she seriously fall asleep in her arms after crying a goddamn river? She slapped a palm to her forehead. Would she ever not embarrass herself in her attempts to befriend Queen Angella?

There was a note on the table. The teapots and kettle had been cleaned out. Adora stuck out her tongue as she deciphered the beautiful, yet confusing loopy handwriting.

> _Good morning._
> 
> _I had to leave for work. Feel free to linger,_
> 
> _but please don’t snoop around._
> 
> _I hope you’re well._
> 
> _-Angella_

Smiling softly, Adora folded the note and put it in her pocket.

Since there were probably (definitely) guards posted outside the doors to the royal chambers, Adora decided to whistle for Swift Wind to whisk her off the balcony.

No amount of training would ever be enough. Still, Adora sought it out, perhaps not as vigorously as she should.

Bright Moon Castle held training grounds for its soldiers. Unfortunately, they kind of still hated her. For whatever reason, rather than trust her over time, each of Adora’s feats made their stares more persistent and their hushes angrier.

Thus, the great She-Ra was resigned to throw jabs at some innocent tree in one of the castle’s many alcoves. Whatever, who needed training dummies or sparring partners or feedback? 

Gone were the rigid structures of the Fright Zone, the leaderboards, the straightforward competitions. Adora pushed herself as a cadet to be the fastest, the strongest, the smartest. Quickest footwork, heaviest punches. Her goal was clear. Shadow Weaver’s praises were drops of sustenance in a desert of her own orchestration.

But there was no one to teach her how to be She-Ra. No one even remotely understood. She was alone, isolated, wandering blindly where no one had for a thousand years. It was driving her crazy.

Her fist grazed against rough bark. “Argh!” The scrapes on her knuckles were minor, but they throbbed with obnoxious burning. “Dammit.”

Having had enough of that, she ambled over to the Sword of Protection, which she had carelessly stabbed into the ground. A forceful pull and she held it in her hand. Adora peered at it’s glinting blade, at the golden curls of its crossguard, at the teal gem that stared back like a cyclops’ eye. It revealed nothing.

 _Shield._ She managed to turn this thing into a shield the day before in Mystacor. She closed her eyes, filled her chest with clean air. _Shield. Turn to shield. Sword to shield._

Shadows. Hunting, creeping, _weaving_ around her. Gold exploded from the darkness in her eyes, like a star going nova. She-Ra’s magic was hot and bright. Adora opened her eyes and saw a large shield strapped to her forearm.

But there were no smiles, no celebration. This was mild progress. Adora nodded to herself and returned to her tree-turned-dummy.

Only to meet the eyes of a second occupant. Queen Angella, making use of the one bench at the spot, one leg over the other, book in her lap. Her cape was lazily draped over the back seat. Both women simply stared at one another, neither expecting the other’s presence.

Angella uttered the first word. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I can leave!” Offered Adora eagerly.

“No. Unless you’d prefer to.”

“I’m good.”

In the next few seconds of awkward silence, it was decided they would settle for the company.

Adora faced the tree, adopting a stance. One leg in front, one leg back, shield firmly between herself and her imaginary tree enemy. Was the queen watching? A quick glance confirmed that her attention was very much taken by her reading material. Oh, well. Adora didn’t know how to feel about that.

The next few minutes were spent going left, right, eyes on the enemy, turning the shield back into the sword and vice versa and struggling while doing so-

“You turned the Sword of Protection into a-”

The sudden words made her flinch mid-step. Adora tripped over her feet and flopped to the grass.

“Oh, my.”

“I’m...okay.” And now she was covered in green and dirt. Great. With her pride too wounded to properly face the queen, she chose to just sit there, brushing dust off her thighs. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Queen Angella abandoned her book and walked closer. “I was wondering about that shield.” Looking amused, she offered a lavender hand. “I didn’t mean to distract you. My apologies.”

Adora tried to laugh it off with a dismissive wave, until she noticed she had never seen the queen’s bare hand before. The white fabric of those gloves concealed her long, deft fingers and nails manicured short for extended use.

Calling a hand _pretty_ had been meaningless for Adora up until this moment. She didn’t think about the dust clinging to her palm as she accepted Queen Angella’s help.

The queen was _strong,_ so much so that Adora had to bite back a yelp when she was pulled to her feet like a ragdoll. It was mind-boggling, the sheer amount of power hidden in that delicate frame.

“...About Mystacor.” Angella started, her eyes soft and solemn, pulling Adora from her thoughts. “I wanted to make sure you were alright. Glimmer did mention the three of you rested at Mystacor in the debriefing, but such an encounter must have been extremely draining for you.”

Adora forced a reassuring smile and removed her gritty palm from Angella’s. “The break was enough, really. Waves and sand and sunshine and all that.” She moved to retrieve the Sword of Protection, which had slipped from her hold to end up in the grass. “I have to train so Shadow Weaver can’t catch me off-guard again.”

Swinging and grunting and mentally screaming at this sword to turn into a shield, Adora heard Angella’s footsteps returning to the bench.

She smirked to herself, then tossed a glance at the queen over her shoulder. “Castaspella said something about you... _not_ answering her letters?”

Angella shot her an incredulous look as she dusted off her palms. “Adora, you have _not seen_ her letters. If she’s not going on about her knitting projects, she writes several pages long soliloquies of pure passive aggression. I _cannot_ bother to read all of them. I have work to do!”

“Uhh, does that mean she doesn’t like you?”

“That woman has never, ever liked me. It used to puzzle me, but…” her gaze fell heavy on the book in her lap, “now, I can’t blame her. With Micah gone…”

Adora felt drawn to Angella by a desire to comfort her. Her approach was still tentative. “What do you mean? You lost him too.”

“I got him killed.”

The words didn’t register for far too long. Adora’s dumbfounded stare was doing more harm than good.

“The battle where he died...I ordered it. Pushed for it. I thought it would end everything, instead…”

“Ang-Your Majesty…” She crossed the rest of the distance and sank to one knee before the queen. “You probably already know this and don’t want to hear it, but it wasn’t your fault. Every battle has a risk.”

“A risk that was _mine_ to mitigate.” Her eyes met Adora’s, frozen to an angry chill so strong it burned. Adora didn’t flinch, but remained there with a determined gaze.

It was all too familiar and all too obvious. Adora knew what self-hatred looked like. She saw it in the mirror every day. Shadow Weaver called it her greatest strength and weakness.

Angella sank into the bench, arms wrapping around herself. “Those words of yours might mean something to someone, but not to me.”

Adora braced to deliver the next words. “It’s easier to blame yourself.” This caught Angella’s attention. “You didn’t hurt King Micah, the Evil Horde did.”

“They are _still_ out there ravaging Etheria-”

“Exactly. Much easier to punish yourself.” Adora rose to her full height. “But the Horde won’t last much longer. I’ll make sure of it.”

And to fulfill her promise to the queen, she would have to continue her training. She removed herself from Angella’s space to go back to glaring at the Sword of Protection until it listened to her.

 _Woosh,_ went Queen Angella’s wings as they took flight into the sky. Adora was left to wonder whether she did something wrong. Perhaps she overstepped.

A few days later, they were living through a nightmare. “I should have never let her leave this castle.”

Adora had to give the queen props. That sentence alone was far more coherent than anything racing through her mind at that moment, mainly a string of repetitive expletives akin to what would be muttered after stubbing one’s toe.

And, really, she shouldn’t blame Angella for sitting there, hunched over the war room table like the world was ending and all hope was lost.

She shouldn’t, but she did. Adora was furious. Furious at herself, at Catra in that stupid handsome suit wearing that stupid handsome smirk. Furious at Glimmer and Bow and Frosta and all the damned traditions that bound her so rigidly. Some stupid prom wasn’t going to make the enemy less likely to kidnap the Princess of Bright Moon _and_ the Sword of Protection in one fell swoop.

It was a mix of that impotence-fueled anger, as well as the short peeks taken under Queen Angella’s stoic mask during the last couple of months, that granted Adora the nerve to march up to the empty war room table and slam her hands down.

The queen was staring at her. Her eyes were wide. Adora pushed forward. “There’s _no_ time for this. We _have_ to do something.”

The surprise seeped from her expression, leaving something cold and dead behind. Angella rose from her tall royal chair. “You’re right, we do.”

“Good-”

“I’m going to accept Hordak’s terms.”

“What?! No! Are you insane?”

“That monster has my _daughter,_ Adora.”

 _That monster has my friend._ Adora bit her lip before shouting something so foolish back. She squared her shoulders, hardened her features. “I know, and I’m going to bring her home.”

Angella narrowed her eyes at her, arms crossed in...condescension. “What do you plan on doing without the Sword of Protection?”

“Anything. I’ll think of something, but-” Deep breath. Once she felt the lump in her throat, Adora realized how deep the queen’s remark wounded her. “I’ll stop at nothing.”

The queen frowned, then looked away to rub the bridge of her nose as though she were dealing with the crazed ramblings of a madwoman. 

A stranger. A Horde soldier that could not be trusted. And, without the Sword of Protection...she was exactly just that.

Adora stepped back, trembling with the fire crawling under her skin. “Don’t worry, _Your Majesty,_ I…” _gulp, “_ I wish someone else were She-Ra, too. Someone worth a damn.”

She turned on her heel too early to see the shock in the queen’s face. “Adora-”

“I’ll bring Glimmer home.”

And so she did. 

But she failed Princess Entrapta, and who knows what else she left behind of herself in that cursed place that was once her home.

It was nice seeing Glimmer back, and Queen Angella’s shoulders settle into a relaxed curve once she held her daughter in her arms. When Bow grasped her shoulder in a steadying gesture, Adora knew she must’ve looked like shit. Bitter, sad shit.

Glimmer slipped from her arms. Bow offered the queen a small reverence before chasing after his best friend. Adora intended to linger long enough for an obligatory respectful nod, but she was stopped by Queen Angella stepping in her way.

“Thank you, truly.”

“You’re welcome-”

“No.” Her long, graceful neck shifted with a thick gulp. Angella struggled to remain composed as the remorse showed through her royal mask. “Adora, I meant what I said that night we spoke at the balcony, and I shudder to think of anyone else wielding that sword’s power.”

Adora felt light as the resentment slipped through her fingers like grains of sand. But she clung to whatever remained nevertheless, just to avoid feeling empty. She licked her lips and managed to murmur, “I understand.”

“I feared you getting hurt.”

The two women stood there, mere inches apart, as the meaning of this hushed admission soaked into them. Adora wasn’t sure what it meant. Angella couldn’t believe what it meant.

They went their opposite ways.

The Battle of Bright Moon...well, it happened. And their victory wouldn’t have been such a close call if Adora were a more competent She-Ra.

The past days had been too hectic for Adora to dwell on how empty she felt, or realize how that vacant space in her chest was being filled by that warm _something_ that was there before Glimmer was kidnapped each time she did so much as glance in Queen Angella’s direction.

But she felt it then, in the aftermath of the battle, like a punch to the gut. Castle Bright Moon was utter chaos. So much to rebuild, so many to heal and mend. She-Ra had absorbed a lot of the damage from the battle, so she only let the medic rub some ointment and slap some bandages on her before she wiggled out of her seat.

She realized something was wrong with Queen Angella when, upon being thrust into her celebratory wing-embrace by an emotional Bow post-battle, she flinched. Adora was pressed right against her side as the tall, broad warrior. The side that got blasted by that Horde droid.

So her dumbass followed the queen, concerned about her welfare more than anything else. 

She all but zoomed across the castle, half-walking, half-gliding, managing her staff and barely holding everything together. Adora finally caught up to her in some empty stretch of hallway. “Hey!”

 _“Why_ are you following me around?” Angella all but snapped, turning to face her.

Adora halted like she hit her nose against a brick wall. “I just want to make sure you’re okay! I noticed you’re hurt…”

This gave the queen pause and her features softened. “Thank you for your concern, but I’m going to be alright.”

Her body gave no indication otherwise, but Adora wouldn’t be surprised if this was a display of sheer resilience, and the way the sunlight hit her made her so gorgeous and…

“Unless you need something, I’ll be retiring for the afternoon.”

She looked so floaty, removed from the reality of the lowly mortals, as she turned and rounded a corner, as if a magical gust of wind whisked her away.

Adora gave up on chasing her. She was so damn tired.

A party was held later to celebrate the victory. It was a tiny affair between the princesses, but noisy and lively all the same. Adora managed some easy banter with her friends. The rest of the alliance was starting to bond, even Frosta was eager about their next move against the Horde. Queen Angella did not show up, but sent an encouraging note addressed to the Princess Alliance along with a guard.

“Have you seen my mom?” Asked Glimmer suddenly as they finished wrapping up some game night session in her room. Bow left not long before this moment. Perhaps the timing was deliberate?

“Uh, no.” Adora dumped some pillows on a chair. “What makes you think I would have?”

“I’ve seen you hanging out.” Her tone was every bit like a pan hitting Adora over the head. “Super late at night too. I’ve had to skip on my mug of warm milk just to spare myself from walking into _that.”_

Was Glimmer...accusing her of something?

Either way, something about this exchange settled into Adora’s stomach like moldy bread. She tried to dull the edge that wanted to jump into her words. “We just-run into each other and talk. That’s it.”

“Gee, Adora, I was just asking.”

She couldn’t sleep that night, plagued by thoughts of Angella rather than Shadow Weaver.

Changing out of her uniform, she had found that note again, the one Angella left behind that one morning Adora awoke in her chambers.

It reminded her that, although cold and distant, Angella had been there for her, wrapping her up in light and warmth when she needed it most.

So Adora went looking for her. She didn’t wander, but traversed the halls with purpose. Angella remained elusive.

Adora felt like a child again. Back in the Fright Zone, there was a popular legend of a ghost that haunted the Whispering Woods. Some jackass lieutenant got it into their heads that it could sneak into the facility and kidnap them for a meal. Most cowered. Catra wanted to go find it and kick its ass.

She dragged Adora out of bed and snuck out of the room. There were creaks, noises and shadows, but no ghost, no _whisper._

Guards were firmly posted at the doors to the queen’s chambers. For some reason, perhaps the fatigue that kept screaming at her to go back to bed, Adora decided to approach them.

They immediately pointed their spears at her. “Whoa! It’s me, Adora. She-Ra.” Adora held her hands up until they lowered their weapons. “Is Queen Angella in her room?”

“She isn’t taking any visitors.”

“Just tell her it’s me, I really need to talk to her.”

“Her orders were strict. We apologize.”

Judging by the tone, they weren’t sorry at all.

Of course, because her brain wouldn’t let her rest until she got to the bottom of this, there was only one option. Thus, Adora found herself scaling along the outer walls of Castle Bright Moon. It was like sneaking into Glimmer’s room, except Queen Angella’s alcove jutted out dangerously over the dark moat that surrounded the structure.

Swift Wind was better for exits than entrances, so Adora sucked it up and pushed forward. Soon she was crossing over the railing and landing on the tiled balcony. Piece of cake. Dangerous cake that may end up exploding all over her face. A curtain obscured the room from the outside. Adora peeked her head through.

Dim crystal lamps hung from the ceiling, sprinkling cool-toned light in an otherwise dark room. The bed was empty, as were the couches, but not the vanity.

Angella was motionless, arm, head and torso thrown across the table. Nude save for a towel draped over her lap. Adora’s heart stopped for a split second. Was she... _dying?_

She leapt through the curtain. “Angella!”

As if brought back to life, the queen sat up straight with a long gasp for air. She looked _terrified,_ eyes glistening in the haze of the room. “A-Adora…”

Then she noticed Angella’s other hand holding what had to be an ice pack against her side. “You-you _really_ don’t look okay.”

“You need to leave.”

“But-”

“Leave! _Now!”_ She curled into herself, arm shielding her from the outside world, from _Adora._ Never had her voice, usually poised and posh, been so raw and broken.

Feeling like a monster, Adora left through where she came. A quick whistle summoned Swift Wind to the alcove, and he effortlessly landed on the railing with impeccable balance.

 _“Again?”_ He asked with a judgy tilt to his chin. 

Adora wished this talking thing had waited a couple extra weeks to show up. “Just get me out of here.”

“I just don’t understand her!” Adora sprawled herself on the forest floor of the Whispering Woods, where she felt she belonged among the dark and twisted.

“What are you _talking about?”_ Swift Wind trotted up by her starfished body. Truthfully, Adora had been shouting into the canopy with no expectation of a reply, but…

A horse probably wouldn’t help her, no matter how magical, but Swift Wind wasn’t Bow or Glimmer, who both had a firm perception of the Queen of Bright Moon.

Adora draped her arm across her forehead, halfway hiding herself in shame from Swift Wind’s scrutiny. “Queen Angella and I...sort of have been talking. I opened up to her, we had tea, we talked and joked and- Fuck, she’s so genuinely nice and friendly, but nobody would believe me if I said that because she always puts up this act!”

“Well I certainly don’t believe you.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I-I mean, I _do_ believe you, I’m just having a hard time picturing Queen Helicopter Mom being friendly.”

Adora sat up, ripping out a fistful of grass from its roots, “she’s _not_ a ‘helicopter mom!’ She lost her husband and she doesn’t want to lose her daughter! We’re in a fucking _war!”_

Her outburst pushed Swift Wind several paces back, long muscular legs tensed and wings outstretched.

“S-sorry, Swifty.” Adora dropped her head between her knees. “Maybe she is a bit overprotective, but...It just pisses me off, nobody gives her a chance, but I want to be there for her like...she was for me. And she looked like she needed help- what if she’s _really badly hurt?_ ”

“You’re overreacting. If the queen wanted help, she would probably go get it.” Swift Wind approached her, all flight gone from his body. “Maybe she knows how she comes across.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe that’s exactly how she wants to come across.”

“Huh?” She peered up at him.

“She was probably there for you because she could be, because she did care about you doing well, but...she may not want to let other people in.”

“Are you saying she doesn’t...want to be friends at all?” Adora wasn’t sure that made any sense.

He shook his head, mane flowing left and right. “Look, I dunno, I can’t say for sure, but you sure as hell can’t force her.”

Adora’s gaze fell to her hand, still clenched in a tight fist with the blades of grass choked in her hold.

Maybe she didn’t want to be friends.

Maybe she just wanted her warrior, her only true, tangible hope to put an end to the Horde to not collapse under pressure.

“I see.” That...kind of hurt. Kind of _really_ hurt. Her hand loosened. The decapitated plant material slowly fluttered from her palm to the ground.

A soft warmth pressed into her cheek. It was Swift Wind, nuzzling her with his muzzle, though the gesture more closely resembled a pat on the back.

“There, there. You’ll be okay.”

“Thanks, Swifty.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: implied panic attack

Life went on. It had to, with the Evil Horde still attacking even more vigorously than before. The Princess Alliance had their hands full. Adora threw herself fully into her role and everything She-Ra.

Forgetting her own birthday wasn’t a big deal. It was but a date among many, until one day she opened her eyes in the middle of the night, per usual, to see shadows moving around her room.

She would’ve screamed and panicked, and swung her sword at the intruders if she hadn’t heard Glimmer giggle first. She and Bow snuck into her room with balloons and ribbons and big signs just to make her morning special. It was suddenly a very big deal.

They had games and cake and ice cream and Glimmer stole a bottle from the cellar (“You know your mom is gonna notice, right?” “I made sure she wouldn’t this time, Bow!”) It was a nice day. Things seemed right.

And then a knock came to the door.

“I’ll take it!” Glimmer had teleported over before Adora could even blink. Whoever stood at the other side gave her pause. “Uh, it’s General Juliet. She’s looking for you.”

“What? Why?”

“I thought you asked for the day off!” Bow said.

“She says it’s not business, at least.”

Adora shot Bow a questioning glance, but he gave a shrug. After that one incident where she dueled General Juliet in the middle of a town, the stern woman had pretty much made up her mind about Adora. Considering this was her very first day in Bright Moon, this particular first impression was a powerful one.

However, just like Glimmer said, the general waited in the hall outside Adora’s room, and she was _not_ happy. She averted her eyes, expression locked in a frown, and revealed a box wrapped in soft red gift paper from behind her back. “Delivery from Her Majesty, Queen Angella.”

“Delivery- you’re doing deliveries now?” Adora accepted the package gingerly.

Now with her hands freed, the General crossed her arms tightly over her chestplate. “Her Majesty needed the favor done and I volunteered, because I need to have a word with you.”

Whatever it was couldn’t be good from that firm glare and tense posture. The general was trying to make herself larger, rippling her biceps in some intimidating display. The scar across her nose was a symbol of her resilience.

Adora hardened her gaze and stepped fully outside, leaving the door only slightly ajar. Unyielding, she asked, “what is it?”

“I know you trespassed into the queen’s chambers.”

Adora inhaled sharply. “How?”

“My guards heard the commotion. Her Majesty tried to pass it off as ‘nothing,’ but you were also sighted fleeing her balcony on your unicorn steed.”

 _Damn._ “Listen, I know what it looks like. I thought I was doing the right thing. I’ve been trying to find an opportunity to apologize but-”

“Ugh, I don’t _care_ for your excuses.” Her arms unfolded, her full height pressed into Adora’s space. “I only came here to say this: I’m watching you. And if you hurt Queen Angella, I will personally make sure you regret it. Your warrior princess magic doesn’t scare me.”

Adora didn’t reply, didn’t make a move other than to match the general’s fiery stare and wait until she went away.

_The fuck?_

The general’s attempt did little more than annoy her. She knew everything about intimidation and threats from growing up in the Fright Zone. Once in her room, she didn’t know what to tell Bow and Glimmer, if anything at all. She concealed the box behind her back until she could hide it away.

Her friends seemed confused, but neither asked questions. The party proceeded as it should.

The red gift box remained forgotten under her pillow until bedtime, when the back of Adora’s head hit something hard. “Ow.” Rubbing at the spot, she turned to lay on her stomach and removed the pillow.

She was tired _and_ tipsy-tired, but she pushed through the temptation to put off opening the gift until the next day. Her fingers trembled slightly as she ripped through the paper. Out of everyone, Queen Angella was among the last people Adora expected a gift from (not that she expected anything from anyone to begin with.)

It was a wooden box about as large as her outstretched hand. Within, cushioned in a velvety interior, was a small figurine made out of glass

Queen Angella probably took her for the type to crush her gifts under her damn skull.

Upon extracting the item, however, Adora realized it was a nightlight from the plug sticking out from the bottom towards the side. In the darkness of her room, she padded across to the nearest electrical socket and slipped it in.

The light came to life, spilling golden rays into her room that tore through the tall, jagged shadows on her walls.

The figurine, she realized, was of _herself._ Adora, a little less heroic and more...well, Adora would describe her own face as dumb, but in someone else’s eyes perhaps she appeared easy, yet determined. Dependable. Pleasant.

A woman who didn’t carry the world, but _could._ Damn, those arms looked nice.

Adora knelt there for a little while, smiling to herself while admiring the thoughtful present. Someone viewed her this way.

_Wait, does this mean I have to go thank her?_

The nightlight helped.

Adora was a baby who needed a nightlight to go to sleep. Queen Angella thought she was a _damn baby._ At least she managed to sleep like one for most nights now. 

However, she didn’t receive the opportunity to apologize _or_ thank the queen until several nights later.

Ever since Adora returned from Alwyn with Glimmer and Bow, she hadn’t stopped thinking about the projected image of the _stars,_ thousands upon thousands of little dotted _things_ shining on the sky. It was crazy to think the First Ones had that sight hanging right above their heads every single night and probably took it for granted.

Giving up on sleep with a sigh of resignation, Adora left her room in search of the royal library. And she might’ve made a deliberate effort to avoid any other nightly excursionist (Angella). Guards watched the entrance, but they surprisingly let her through.

Then she realized that the library was meant to be open at all hours from the soft yellow light that hung from the ceiling. At nearly four in the morning, it was unlikely that even dedicated researchers would be around.

Adora had never made proper use of a library before. Getting around in it to find _something_ was a bit of an adventure. The rows upon rows of tomes and manuscripts were beyond intimidating. She was certain she’d gone in a full circle as she perused the shelves with uncertainty. There were weird book titles that caught her eye.

Her eyes landed on a book’s spine: _The First Ones’ Night Sky._ Glancing up, she found the plaque spelling the name of the section: _Astronomy._ Whatever that meant. Something with stars?

Adora grabbed the book from its slot on the bookshelf. Opening it revealed _so many words._ Paragraphs upon paragraphs of tiny letters that turned to gibberish before Adora’s eyes as if they were floating in soup.

Maybe there were pictures? She started flipping through the pages when-

“Adora?”

She let out a pitiful startled noise as she spun around to find...Queen Angella. And Adora was threatening her. With a book about stars.

She dropped her stance, as well as her gaze. “H-hey, Your Majesty.” This was a really bad time for this chance encounter thing to happen. 

The queen appeared calm in her peripheral view. “Astronomy?”

“Y-yeah, well…” She returned the damn book to its place before Queen Angella realized just how dumb she was. “I wanted to know more about them after...what we saw at Alwyn.” _Inhale, exhale._ Adora’s hand lingered on the spine. “Look, I...I’m sorry. Really sorry for breaking into your room like that. I assumed...I thought you needed someone there,” she risked the shyest of glances over her shoulder, “but I was wrong.”

And Swift Wind had been right. The queen seemed just fine where she stood, arms clasped together before her waist as she listened. She didn’t need help.

Adora let the seconds tick. Eventually, Queen Angella started, “I shouldn’t have screamed at you the way I did.”

“Your Majesty-”

“I accept your apology.”

“...Thanks.” It somehow didn’t make her feel any better. She kicked the floor, fidgeted with the hem of her night shirt. “Thanks for the gift, by the way. You didn’t have to.”

“I wouldn’t have known it was your birthday had I not overheard Bow and Glimmer scheming.” Her smile turned into a smirk. “Did you enjoy the whiskey, by the way?”

Adora’s eyes widened. “Y-you knew.”

“Of _course_ I knew. Did Glimmer tell you I wouldn’t find out?” Angella flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I already had a chat with her a few days ago about...drinking responsibly and whatnot.”

“Huh, she didn’t tell me you found her out.”

“I wouldn’t expect her to.”

The silence that followed was awkward, long and suffocating. It wasn’t quite fear of the queen smiting her, Adora realized. This was different. More personal.

When neither could take it anymore, they went their separate ways. Adora had to force herself to sleep with her head still swimming with the same questions it sought to answer.

Adora still felt the corruption stabbing her like needles under her skin. Closing her eyes, she had nightmares about the Frozen Wastes, about the veins of darkness threading in and out of her flesh, about her friends- about _Catra_ looking up at her in sheer terror as She-Ra raised her sword above her head.

The world seemed to conspire against Adora getting any form of restful sleep. Her sheets were sticking to her sweaty limbs. She thought about a shower and ended up leaving her room to find the training grounds, towel still draped over her shoulder.

10PM wasn’t late enough to expect empty halls, but she was more than prepared to ignore or deflect anyone she encountered. The trajectory was peaceful. The destination, however, had two occupants.

The general and the queen stood by a weapon rack. The former animatedly explained to the latter some generic facts about swords, then pulled one out to show off some decent swings. Queen Angella, however, was less than interested, albeit kind enough to pretend otherwise.

Adora took great pleasure in marching right into the gym.

“Hey!” General Juliet barked at her, sword still in hand. “What are _you_ doing here at such an hour?”

“I wanted to do some late-night training. That’s not illegal, is it?”

“It is not.” Cut in Queen Angella, pouring liquid over the fire of the general’s aggression. “Make use of the facility as you please.”

“Thanks, Your Majesty.” Adora allowed herself a smug grin before walking over to one of the racks. She busied herself wrapping her knuckles in protective wraps while overhearing the general excuse herself. For whatever reason, the queen chose to linger.

Adora held her breath, counted the seconds as the wrap went round and round, tightening over her wrist, over her palm…

“I never see the general so excited,” echoed the queen’s voice. Adora glanced over to see her across the gym, contemplating one of the generic training swords. “I’m familiar with swords, but...I thought I’d let her go on.”

She fastened the wrappings, punched her knuckles together, and breathed out easy. “You know how to fight with a sword? Why don’t you give me a demonstration?”

Angella narrowed her eyes at her and crossed her arms. “Absolutely _not.”_

She walked closer, eyes sparkling. “Come _on._ I’ll spar with you!”

“If that was supposed to encourage me, then it did the complete opposite.”

Her hands rested at her hips in teasing defiance. “You scared I’ll beat you, Your Majesty?”

The queen turned away and held up a dismissive palm. “I’m done with this conversation.”

“Okay, okay. I was teasing.”

Adora started what she came here to do. She picked a boxing bag with the intention of warming up first. As she assumed a stance and fixed her glare on an imaginary foe, the queen’s presence persisted.

“Are you alright?” There it was, the dreaded question. Adora closed her eyes as the frustration washed over her.

“Yeah.” _Jab._ “Just trying to...feel useful. Fool myself into thinking that more training is gonna prevent another infection-type thing from happening again.”

The queen’s heels clicked closer. “I thought there was someone training you? _Light Hope?_ Wouldn’t they be able to help more?”

 _Block. Right jab._ “I have to be in a _special_ mood to put up with Light Hope’s...Light-Hopeness.” She deflated, eyes falling to the ground. “Besides...I don’t think it can be helped. If it can infect First One’s tech, it can infect the Sword of Protection, so it _will_ affect She-Ra.” She squeezed her eyes shut, shook off her shoulders, then tried to focus on the task at hand.

The queen’s footsteps came closer. “Could I have your attention for a moment?”

 _Guess I’m not training._ Adora turned her back to the punching bag. “What is it?”

For a while, all Queen Angella did was study her, her brow furrowed as she waged some internal war unknown to Adora. Then her expression cleared. A choice was made. “I’m going to share something with you, just in hopes that it’ll help.”

Adora picked her fingernails in restlessness. “Okay? Is it...a secret or something?”

“Not...necessarily, but I would rather this stayed between us.”

“Sure. No problem.”

The queen smiled at her and seemed more at ease with continuing. “As an angelic being, there are...a few things that are different about me. For one, I am quite sensitive to magic. I can _sense_ it simply by being in proximity to a source. And, well, I can sense She-Ra.”

Adora’s eyes widened. She closed the distance, desperate to know more. “Really? What’s-what’s that ilke?”

Queen Angella’s wings ruffled in surprise. “I-I’m not sure I can describe it, Adora. It’s a fairly abstract feeling.” She seemed uncomfortable, eyes evading and cheeks flushing. She cleared her throat. “The point is...I always seem to sense She-Ra’s magic coming from _you,_ rather than the Sword of Protection.”

Adora’s mind raced in an attempt to figure out what this meant, both for herself and for the sword. But most importantly…”When were you going to tell me any of this?”

The queen pinched the bridge of her nose. “I didn’t think it mattered, especially since I wasn’t sure what it could mean. As far as we’re aware, it makes no difference, except...perhaps you can discover some way to prevent the infection from spreading towards you from the sword? I’m not sure. It’s...useless conjecture.”

To Adora, knowing that She-Ra was within her somehow seemed relevant. It could mean everything, or...nothing. Adora stared at her hands, opened and closed them as though whatever Queen Angella saw or sensed would reveal itself to Adora.

But it didn’t. “I...I’ll ask Light Hope, or something. Thanks for telling me this.”

“You’re...welcome.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know?”

Angella cocked her hip and tilted her head. “Do what?”

Squirming under her gaze, Adora sought to escape it by turning to her punching bag. “Force yourself to talk to me, or whatever. I’m not a kid, I can get my shit together, and I have my friends.”

A gasp. Adora tensed, but was firm in her choice to face away from the queen.

“I _never_ thought of you as a child.” The emotion in her voice was thick, a stream poisoned by hurt and anger and all sorts of ugly things. “But I understand.”

 _What have I done?_ Adora asked herself, guard dropping, eyes tearing. She heard the queen walk away. She heard her pause at the door.

“I won’t bother you anymore.”

And then, Adora was alone.

Her fist flew towards the punching bag. “Fuck!”

“...and then she just _talked to me._ Calmly!”

“Spooky.”

“And she told me I could have a drink every now and then as long as I practiced moderation, something something _not a coping mechanism,_ _Glimmah._ ”

“Sounds good to me. But also…” Bow leaned in closer to Glimmer, “don’t you think Adora’s been really weird today?”

“I can hear you, Bow.”

The friend squad was seated in the library. It looked much different during the day, cozy and spacious and not haunting at all. The sunlight spilled the shadow of a tall window, criss-crossing over the books and materials spread over their table.

They’d been trying to figure out what the _Serenia_ thing was all about. So far, they weren’t making much progress with Bright Moon’s resources. Or, at least, Bow and Glimmer weren’t. Adora stopped pretending she could focus long enough to finish a paragraph and idly sketched in her notepad. 

“Well, good, that makes this simpler.” Bow scooted closer. “Are you okay? You seem upset.”

Adora shrugged. “I’m fine,” then she added in a grumble, “I just wish people would stop asking me that.”

“People care about you, Adora.”

If she were paying any attention to his comforting schtick, she might’ve missed Glimmer blinking in and out of existence to peer at her notepad. Adora quickly turned and slammed it against the table, shielding it from Glimmer’s gaze with a glare.

Glimmer forced a grin and held up her hands. “Just trying to help.”

Adora wasn’t really sketching anything incriminating. But it was unacceptable for anyone else to know she could only draw stick figures beating each other up.

It kept her mind off...things. Winged, pretty things.

“I’m okay, guys. Just tired. Keep getting bad sleep.” She was being genuine. A yawn forced its way out just then and she rubbed at her eyes.

“Yeah, that’ll make you cranky.” Glimmer mused. “We could have another slumber party! Where we actually try to slumber, of course.”

“Uh, does it have to be _tonight?”_ To both their surprise, Bow was the one to object.

 _“Uh,_ yeah.”

Adora managed to hide away the nightlight without Bow or Glimmer noticing. They told jokes, played some card games, had some cookies, and went to bed by nine like good boys and girls. It was at Bow’s insistence that they turned in early. Glimmer grumbled that she felt like a ten year old. Adora was too tired to complain.

She awoke in the middle of the night. No nightmares or anything, she just had to pee. Careful to tiptoe around the sleeping bags, she found the bathroom in the dark and did her business.

On the way back, she paused. Glimmer snored lightly on the floor. Bow was still as a log inside his sleeping bag. Adora sighed, smiling softly. She didn’t deserve them.

In her attempt to step over the sleeping bags and crawl back into bed, she lost her balance. She only let out the tiniest yelp as she dropped on top of...Bow?

Bow was surprisingly fluffy. And way too still for having a whole person land on top of him. Surely enough, when Adora removed the blanket, she found pillows where Bow should be. _What the…_

Adora lifted her gaze, saw her curtains fluttering, spread far wider than she remembered leaving them, and sped outside onto her balcony.

Her eyes scanned left and right. She didn’t see much at first. The light of the three moons washed Bright Moon Castle in a silvery haze and the forest landscape of the Whispering Woods drowned in darkness as it stretched into the horizon.

Disappearing into the treeline, Adora spotted a cloaked figure. If this wasn’t suspicious, then she didn’t know what was. It couldn’t be Bow, could it?

There was only one way to find out. Adora fetched her Sword of Protection and found Swift Wind already waiting outside. Ever since they became more in-tune as warrior and steed, Swift Wind simply knew when he was needed.

“At least you’re flying off your own balcony, this time.” Unfortunately, he still needed to work on not aggravating her.

“Oh, shut up.” She leapt onto his back, then pointed at the trees. “I saw a shady figure over there entering the Whispering Woods. Also Bow is missing.”

“Okay?” A large flap of his wings tossed them into the night sky. “And you’re not telling Glimmer?”

“Uh…” She probably should’ve thought of that. “I-it’s not like I know exactly what’s going on. Let’s just-let’s just go.”

They soared down below the dense, twisting canopy. There was only so far Swift Wind could take them into the Whispering Woods before the branches became a hazard for his wings. They trod along by foot (and hoof) together, searching the perimeter for the cloaked figure.

“Over there!” Swift Wind stretched his muzzle somewhere among the trees. Had Adora turned her head a second later, she might’ve missed the shadow of distinctive movement before it disappeared behind a tree trunk.

“Come on.”

Bit by bit, they closed in on their target. Too close, however, and their creaky footsteps would reveal their presence..

The figure suddenly stopped and looked around. Adora pressed them behind a tree. The seconds ticked by with the figure simply standing there. Swift Wind audibly shuffled restlessly. “So you think this is Bow-”

_“Shhhh.”_

The two watched the figure leap into the trees, climbing from branch to branch with mesmerizing precision and grace. Both warrior and steed dropped their jaws in unison.

“Wait no- is that _Catra?”_ Asked Swift Wind.

“No, too tall and too…” She couldn’t articulate it. After growing up together, Adora simply _knew_ what Catra’s pouncing gymnastics looked like, and this wasn’t it. She felt it in her bones. “We have to hurry.”

They parted the underbrush, keeping their eyes fixed skyward on the leaping figure. Adora begged to whomever listened that this wasn’t Catra. She would take some mystery person or random spy over another heated, emotionally charged encounter.

The figure halted yet again. Adora held out an arm to stop Swift Wind. Their target was almost directly above their heads, and it started descending the length of the tree.

 _Shit._ They retreated behind a nearby bush, large enough to cover Swift Wind with his head lowered. The cloaked person landed quietly. Adora held her sword at the ready, watching them look around, wander closer and closer to their spot.

Adora breathed in, out, stilled her pounding heart and sprung from her cover, delivering a warning swing with her sword. Metal rang loud against metal. The figure blocked her blow with a metal-clad forearm, locking them in an odd stalemate.

Adora growled and pushed forward. “Who are you and what were you doing around- _oh fuck.”_

The hood slid back and revealed a very annoyed, very sour Queen Angella. _“Yes._ Could you drop your sword now?”

“Sorry!” Adora might’ve taken that too literally by letting her weapon fall to the ground and holding her hands up. “I didn’t know- I saw someone sneaking out and I- could’ve been a Horde spy or-”

“What are you _doing_ here?” Swift Wind stepped in, far less deterred by the queen’s presence.

Frowning, she darted her eyes between warrior and steed before letting out a groan. “Do you have _any_ idea how hard it was to leave Bright Moon without being noticed? You would think it wouldn’t be this difficult for me to exit my _own_ castle, but _it is.”_ She rolled her eyes and turned to walk on ahead. “I suppose you’re here, so I’ll show you.”

Swift Wind and Adora shared a glance, then followed.

The structure of a town became obvious, one that had suffered its fair share of blows at the hands of the Horde. Adora held onto her sword as they approached the eerie silence of the empty village. Angella stopped their little group just before they stepped past the treeline.

Even in the darkness, Adora noticed her shaky breaths. Her fingers trembled as they reached into her cloak and pulled out a stick- no, an extendable _quarterstaff,_ which she used to draw a rectangle on the ground.

“We received a distress call from Colonia. We’re standing right outside it, about here.” She drew a circle near the corner. “There was a Horde attack which we _should’ve_ had under control, except…” Between the circle that represented the village and that which stood for the Horde camp, she drew an X. “A monster charged right into the middle of the confrontation. There were casualties on both sides, but the Horde figured out they could provoke it into attacking the village. The monster is extremely aggressive, and the Horde refuses to surrender.”

“That sucks.” Swift Wind provided as helpful commentary.

Adora stepped up. “What’s the monster’s description.”

“It’s endemic to the woods. Long body, astounding amount of legs, something of an exoskeleton. Large and can easily run through rows of trees...and buildings.” Her eyes drifted towards what little they could see of the town through the trees, though the limited view revealed enough of the torn down homes to get the message across.

Adora faced the queen firmly. “You should’ve summoned me. The creatures of the Whispering Woods obey She-Ra!”

Queen Angella’s only response to that was a deadpan look.

This puzzled Adora. In the past, no matter how awkward things had been between them, the two managed a professional relationship when it was called for. 

Clearly, though, there was very little to be considered _professional_ about this whole ordeal.

Adora dropped her gaze. The queen had chosen to forego counting on her, and perhaps she deserved it.

Swift Wind cut through the tension. “So what’s the plan? Is the town, uh, dead?”

“No, they’re hiding.” Answered Angella. “They’ve been observing the creature’s movements. I...suspect there is a nest, and it’s protecting it. She-Ra might not be enough to scare it away.”

“A _nest?_ Those things lay eggs?”

Adora took a deep breath. “You planned to relocate the nest.”

“If there even is one.”

“Why come alone? You _know_ it’s dangerous.” She asked, pleading with her eyes. 

Angella crossed her arms and turned away. “I have to admit, your noble steed has been asking the more important questions lately.”

Swift Wind let out a long gasp, his wings unfurling and his chest puffing. “ _Thank you,_ Your Majesty! Finally, some long overdue appreciation!”

Adora _glared at him,_ but either he didn’t notice or didn’t care. A burning took a hold of her chest, so unpleasant and bitter, and every attempt to ignore it made it stronger.

“I’m going to find the nest. Or the beast. Whichever. You can follow if you feel like it, but keep in mind the area is infested with Horde soldiers.”

Rather than step into the town, she pulled the hood back over her head and climbed into the foliage. It was then that Adora realized- _where are her wings?_

“I don’t know what you did,” began Swift Wind, breaking her out of a trance, “but I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen her that pissed with someone.”

“Then you don’t really know her.”

“And you do?”

Adora faltered under his questioning gaze, then shrugged. “It’s a work in progress. Or was.”

Adora was doing everything she could to not panic over the queen. Sure she was strong, sure she could be fast and agile, but...she was _Queen Angella._ She already led a kingdom and a rebellion, _why_ shoulder more burdens? Why make herself so vulnerable?

Why be so...irresponsible? Her behavior made little sense, and if Glimmer caught wind of any of this happening, she would probably call her own mother a hypocrite.

As She-Ra, hero of Etheria, Adora’s sense of duty urged her to act in the village’s best interest. Admittedly, Queen Angella was much, much higher in her list of priorities. That woman was going to get herself captured. Or worse…

Adora would never forgive herself.

Swift Wind didn’t take well to being instructed to stay put and wait for instructions (“Swifty, big white unicorn horses aren’t the subtlest thing out there.” “First of all, _‘unicorn horse’_ is super redundant, second…”) but he was left no choice other than to listen, at least for now. Bracing herself and taking comfort in the weight of the Sword of Protection strapped to her back, Adora stepped into town. 

Ghastly silence haunted Colonia Village. It took her all the way back to Alwyn. There were clear markers of destruction here, however. Singed rocks, dilapidated buildings, piles of rubble spilled over paths. If Adora focused on her peripherals, though, she caught flickers of activity within the homes. The windows were dark, but not empty.

Hearing crunching footsteps, Adora backed into an alley. A single Horde soldier rounded a corner, weapon in hand. They walked right into Adora’s sight to be met by a fist across the nose.

Unconscious, the soldier was dragged into the shadows, then replaced by an identical soldier marching out as if nothing happened. The armor shifted awkwardly with each step; it was a bit too large for Adora, but would suffice.

With the mental image of Angella’s crude map, Adora crossed the small village and re-entered the woods. She didn’t encounter a single other soldier on the way, which she found odd. In such a small town, she expected to stumble into _someone._ Perhaps even a brave villager choosing to attack her.

Her luck ran out a short walk into the dense trees. “Hey!” Called a soldier standing a few paces away. “You already finished your rounds? You left fifteen minutes ago!”

“Uhhh…” Adora patted her stomach. “Emergency.”

All suspicion drained from his posture and he dropped his weapon. “Oh! Oh, I’m sorry, man. Go take care of your business.” 

It seemed the fiber ratio on the ration bars hadn’t been fixed yet. Adora had little time to pat herself on the back, however. Before the guy could leave, she said, “wait! Could you- _remind_ me where the...monster is?”

“Are you stupid? We marked the area earlier! You weren’t there?”

Sweat poured from her forehead. So long away from the Horde and the helmets were unbearably stuffy. “N-no.”

The soldier shrugged. “Just look for the x’s cut into the trees. Don’t let your guard down.”

 _Phew._ She offered a thumbs up. “Thanks, man.” Then was quickly on her way. Her guy voice must’ve been _really_ convincing.

The X’s were large and obvious, even for a distracted, sleep-deprived Horde soldier in the middle of the night (Adora was certainly a couple of those things.) She found one, then another, then another. Together, all the marks cut out a large perimeter, which was likely to be avoided by any soldiers.

“You’re here.” Was the only warning Adora received of Queen Angella’s presence behind her.

Adora removed her helmet, revealing a pair of earnest blue eyes. “Of course, I am.”

The distance between them was uncomfortably large, but it was for the queen to bridge. Her features lay hidden under the shadow of her hood. All Adora could tell was that she refused to look in her direction.

“I’ve been a real jerk to you lately.”

“Adora, not now-”

“I just wanted to be your friend!” She set a boot forward.

Queen Angella reduced their distance down to a few inches. “So did I.”

The admission was strained, but sincere. As close as they were, Adora saw the storm of conflict in Angella’s cool eyes.

Perhaps she could see the same in Adora’s own wide, confused stare.

After a long stretch of silence, Angella declared. “This is not the time _or_ place for this conversation. I want to be done with this.” Adora squeezed her eyes and huffed through her nostrils, like a kettle releasing pent up steam, while the queen nonchalantly strode past her. “Our creature should be this way.”

Adora lingered there. She glanced up above, at the shying tree-tops which created mosaics of branches and leaves. Her only intention had been to clear up the air so the queen could trust her when it was needed most. But alas.

Fixing the helmet back on, she followed after Queen Angella.

Both felt the presence of the creature closing in. Adora couldn’t quite explain the shift in the air. The two walked slowly, cautiously, rolling their heels on the creaking layers of foliage beneath them.

An odd yelp and Adora turned as fast as lighting, holding the tip of her sword at the possible threat. Queen Angella was gingerly brushing some spider web off her shoulder.

Adora lowered her weapon. “You _scared me.”_

“And you are _terrifying_ while wearing that uniform. I keep having to remind myself it's you every time I see you out of the corner of my eye!”

Hoping it would help, she chose to permanently remove the helmet and toss it aside. “Well-how did you know it was me earlier?”

“You-” The queen turned on her heel to move on ahead. Adora rushed to catch up. “Your magic. I told you earlier. Were you not listening? Of course you weren’t listening.”

“I _was_ listening!”

“Wait.” She stopped cold. Adora nearly bumped into her. 

Once she actually managed to focus on anything other than Angella, she noticed the abundant goo hanging from the canopy and coating every inch of forest before them. Shiny blue and highly viscous, the substance turned the collection of trees and bushes into a near solid fortress. Queen Angella audibly gulped.

Adora smirked. “You’re squeamish.”

“ _Sensible_. You can’t possibly tell me this isn’t disgusting for you.”

“I mean, sure.” She shrugged. “Nothing a shower can’t fix, though. But don’t worry, _Your Majesty_. I can take it from here.” Chest puffed, she took a single, confident step forward.

Only to get a faceful of monster jump into her vision with a dry, scratchy roar. She stumbled backwards as bullets of goo splashed against her Horde breastplate. A tall, strong figure caught her, allowing her to unsheath her sword and face the beast.

“Stop!” Whatever compelled her to hold off transforming, she didn’t know. But the beast didn’t seem to require the sight of the eight-foot tall warrior to quietly bow to her. Perhaps, after all these long months of training, She-Ra’s glow also shone through her humble human form.

“Can you talk to these creatures?” Asked Angella. Despite the goo dripping down her cloak, she remained steadfast at Adora’s side.

“I-I dunno, I’ve never tried.” She cleared her throat, and addressed the monster meekly bowed before her. “Do you have a nest? With eggs?” Her finger drew an oval shape in the air, as though it would make understanding her easier.

The beast responded by tentatively stepping back. This revealed that it had been guarding the entrance to the nest they were looking for. The monster’s goo sealed bushes and trees together into a makeshift fortress, where two eggs incubated in a cozy nest.

“They’re huge.” Easily the size of two big watermelons. 

“Adora, we need to hurry.” Angella’s warning was followed by the distinctive rustling of the enemy approaching through the forest.

“Right.” Adora moved to enter the nest, but the monster intercepted her path while baring its round, toothed mouth. “H-hey, it’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you or your eggs-” It roared at her face. Adora shielded her face from the terrifying sight and the goo shower. “Okay, I get it. She-Ra time.”

The Sword of Protection raised high above her head. “For the honor of Grayskull!”

The light took her smaller form, then unveiled the armor-clad warrior princess. There was little time to revel in the surge of power. As soon as she recovered from the vertigo of the new height, Adora searched behind her for Queen Angella. She gasped.

Her futile interactions with the beast must’ve wasted enough time for the Horde soldiers to catch up. The queen had made a choice, however, and was already upon them several feet away. She fought defensively, knocking them out, tossing them over her shoulder, slamming them into trees and disarming them. She was a wall between the soldiers and She-Ra. It felt so wrong.

Yet, she was flawless and untouchable. A shadow in the night that danced around the confused soldiers. Adora made her own choice to trust her.

As She-Ra, mighty and tall and oozing power, the monster had little choice but to step aside. Its many eyes remained locked on her as she waded through the sticky bushes toward the eggs. She decided to remove her bright red cape, intending to use it as a makeshift sack to hold the eggs. It should be large enough to contain them securely.

The blast of a weapon shook the nest. The beast roared and charged towards the exit faster than Adora could react, outside where Angella was still fighting. The cape was in her hands, the eggs were still in the nest, but Angella…

Her heart stopped, what if she was in danger?

The eggs could wait a little longer. She ran towards the entrance of the nest, just in time to find Queen Angella backing away, hands glowing as she focused a magic shield in front of her. Beams of sickening green bounced off of it.

“Your Majesty?”

“I can’t see!”

“Wha-”

“Adora, I can’t see!”

 _The fuck?_ Adora pulled the queen inside the nest by the arm, a little rougher than made her comfortable. She pulled back the queen’s hood, letting her hand linger at the base of her jaw.

Angella was out of sorts, chest heaving with shallow breaths. Her eyes flickered everywhere while seeing nothing- or, perhaps seeing _something_ Adora couldn’t. A memory that haunted her, terrified her to the point she clung to She-Ra’s arms, fingers digging into her skin. It would’ve been painful as a human.

“Look at me! Your Majesty! _Angella!”_

“I can’t…” Her eyes squeezed and opened, her head shook from side to side in frustration. She looked so small and fragile like this, with She-Ra’s form towering over her. Finally, her gaze seemed to find Adora. A haze cleared in her features. It was almost peaceful. “I can see you.”

Almost peaceful. Almost...reverent. The cacophony of destruction beyond the nest faded from Adora’s hearing. There was only a tiny voice reminding her that they were here on a mission.

“H-here.” She shattered the moment by shoving her cape into the queen’s hold. “Get the eggs. I’ll cover you.”

The queen’s features hardened in a mix of determination and anger. A nod was all Adora needed.

Fighting the soldiers was easy. Absorbing the hits from their weapons felt like little more than a mild bug bite. The monster carved a path of destruction as it ran over trees and soldiers alike.

And then the machinery showed up. Rows upon rows of bots all shooting in unison. This, Adora grimaced at. She-Ra wasn’t strong enough yet to obliterate these without risk.

Bad turned worse when the beast decided to ignore the Horde-Bots and race back towards its nest. Its dozens of legs dragged it through the forest. “You! Wait!” Adora dashed over to intercept its path. Rather than deter it, the monster rammed into She-Ra, taking her with it on its merciless journey into the nest.

It happened too quickly. Adora didn’t see or hear much, but _felt_ herself collide into Queen Angella, felt the ground vanish, air rushing past her, and She-Ra’s power leaving her as she fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while. At first I thought I'd be posting each chapter as I finished them, but as things progressed I decided to write ahead. I should be posting once a week.
> 
> Hope you're all doing well!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: somewhat graphic injury (nothing extreme.) Talk about panic attacks.

Gravity rapidly sucked her into a hole. Adora reached up towards the sky, as though an angel would save her.

She did, actually. Queen Angella had managed to cling to a long metal ladder, and caught Adora’s hand, releasing a cry of pain at the strain. 

The ladder itself was old and rusty. The components that attached it to the walls of the narrow tunnel gave out under their combined weight, causing the metal to bend until it bridged the width of the hole.

That ladder was rendered useless. Adora’s mind was still racing, struggling to catch up to the events. Hearing the queen struggle, however, gave her a start. “Hold on!” Adora perched herself on the ladder, which shrieked precariously. The haunting sound echoed far and wide, speaking to the enormity of the tunnel they were suspended in.

Angella released her hand with a hiss. The space was dim and humid. “What happened to the eggs?” Asked Adora.

“I’ve got them.” The queen’s voice was hushed and tired.

“Really?”

As though answering her question, the monster peered into the hole and roared. Any attempt to crawl in and devour them was blocked by the persistent metal ladder blocking its path. Adora clenched her teeth as the noise pierced her ears and goo showered the two.

It fortunately gave up on them for the time being and walked away.

“Okay, uh, are you hurt?”

“I need to know how far down the bottom is.”

The way Queen Angella completely dodged the question didn’t bode well.

Adora patted her uniform until she found a specific compartment on the belt. “Oh, good, they keep the glowsticks in the same place.” She brought the stick to her teeth and snapped it. Now emitting a soft green light, she dropped it down into the darkness.

The stick became a tiny line once it hit the bottom. “Does that work?”

“Yes. Hold on to me.”

As they were, Adora was awkwardly tangled with Queen Angella’s lower half on the ladder, closely enough to draw a very ill-timed blush to her cheeks. She only built up the nerve to touch her thigh when-

-her back hit the ground. “Ow…” Her head throbbed from impact. Her chest felt sore. “Did we just…”  _ Teleport? _

Queen Angella entered her field of view, holding a ball of light in her hand. Although visibly shaken, her features were set in stoic resignation.

The light floated at her shoulder while she bent down to offer a helping hand. “Don’t tell Glimmer.”

Adora accepted it. “About the teleporting or...everything that just happened?”

Her pull was weak but firm, and helped Adora to her feet. “Both. And I’m being serious.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t even know where I would begin…”

The queen grasped the ball of light and pushed it upwards. Upon contact with the ceiling, it exploded into a rain of sparkles that illuminated their surroundings. Wet, mossy stone made their surrounding structure, and the only exit was a tunnel partially drowned in murky ancient water. “Are these...sewers?”

Moreover, this had to be where the monster had come from. Unmistakable blue goo traced a path on the ground.

Meaning...there were probably more. Adora stared into the dark tunnel. Queen Angella’s light wasn’t quite strong or far-reaching enough to tear through the curtain of shadows.

Adora hoped whatever crawled through these sewers would leave them alone for a bit. Queen Angella didn’t seem to be doing well. She had wandered off aimlessly, clutching a hand close to her chest.

As for the monster eggs, the pair was snuggly wrapped up in She-Ra’s cape still, resting on the floor by the rusty ladder. Adora tried not to think about how the cape should’ve disappeared along with She-Ra, and chose to accept the serendipity to focus on Angella.

She risked a step forward. Even after all this, her main concern was not upsetting her further. “Your Majesty?” With her back facing her, it was hard to discern a reaction. She chanced another inch, then another. The echoes were loud and wet. If Angella wanted her to stay far, Adora was confident she would say so (she had experienced it first-hand.)

Once they were face to face, the damage on her hand was obvious. The queen’s shaky, heavy breaths were an attempt at coping with the pain. “Mind if I take a look at that?” Adora offered her palm. Angella placed her injured hand on top in affirmation. “Looks like you dislocated your middle finger.”

“Must have happened...some time during the fall.”

It didn’t escape Adora that this was the hand she caught her with. Her brow furrowed imagining the pain.

Angella groaned and pressed her healthy hand to her forehead. “How will I explain this one away to the medics?”

“You’re really trying to keep this a secret, huh?”

“I’d rather people didn’t know about my failed vigilante antics.”

Adora let out a brief chuckle. “You didn’t  _ fail.”  _ The hand in her palm felt so delicate, the fingers soft with skin that was a stranger to the rough battlefield. “I can pop it back into place for you.”

The amount of injuries and conditions the Horde taught its cadets to treat on their own was worrying to Adora, now that she knew what decent health care looked like. Now that she thought this through, Angella might have more than a few objections to letting a former soldier treat her with Horde tactics.

If only one could snatch words right of the air and swallow them back.

Much to Adora’s surprise the queen turned away while leaving her hand in Adora’s care.“Alright, just-do it.”

“A-are you sure?” Was the queen aware just how much this hurt?

“Yes. Quickly. No counting, no nonsense.”

“Okay.” Adora stalled, running her thumbs across the back of Angella’s hand. “So, you’ve been able to teleport all along?”

“When Glimmer turned five, she became...competitive. Went from singing songs about how I was the most beautiful woman in the world and how she wanted to be like me, to, well, finding ways to best me.” The memories drew a wistful smile on her face. “One day she...discovered she could teleport, I suppose, and was  _ so  _ happy to have found something she believed I couldn’t do, I let her have it. Gladly. I detest teleport-nghh…”

Adora performed the reduction with no warning, and was in awe of how well the queen was taking it. No blood-curdling screams, no jumping around the room. She simply closed her eyes and held in her breath, foot tapping on the floor, kind of like how Adora would react when taking vaccine shots as a little kid.

Then, the queen exhaled. “Thank you.”

“One sec.” The Horde must’ve gotten extremely lazy about updating their protocols, because she found some tape in the exact belt compartment she expected it to be in. She used it to join the middle and ring fingers, using the latter as a splint for the former. “There. Try not to bend it. You should still get that checked out, though.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Neither made a move to pull away. Not the queen to reclaim her hand, or the warrior to stop gently grasping it.

Adora met the queen’s gaze. “You’re tough.” Her echo was raspy to her own ears. Embarrassingly needy. Heat crawled up her neck and filled her cheeks.

Angella smiled. It didn’t quite reach her eyes. She simply shook her head. It was closer to sunrise than to sunset, and words were beyond them.

It was time to move on. A quick assessment of the hole they came through confirmed it would be nigh impossible to exit the same way. The ladder was wrecked, the monster was guarding it, and the space was far too narrow for Angella’s wings.

The alternative was to walk deeper into the sewers. It seemed to be their only choice.

Carrying the eggs over her shoulder, Adora led the two into the tunnel.

Queen Angella was tremendously helpful in navigating the tunnels. Her moonstone magic revealed every crease and corner of the sewers. Anything trying to pounce on the pair would have a very difficult time.

Adora allowed her guard to drop. After all, this was the first time in forever that she actually enjoyed the queen’s presence.

“Your Majesty?” She started.

“You might as well call me ‘Angella.’”

“ _ Only _ if you want me to.”

After a pause, she admitted warmly, “I do.”

The name had escaped her lips numerous times in the past. Now, however, her tongue was a timid little creature. “O-okay. So-  _ Angella,” goddammit,  _ “what was your original plan coming here?”

“I had an idea to lure the monster into the Horde camp and relocate the nest while it was distracted. It should have been simple...”

_...if you hadn’t showed up.  _ Adora knew she was being stupid and unfair, making up lines for Angella in her head. But knowing she might’ve never intended to confront any soldiers directly made her heart strangle itself with guilt. “Sorry, I...if I had known…”

“I’m sure you would’ve still followed me. And there were a million ways my original plan would’ve failed. Like you said, there’s always a risk.”

Adora snorted, self-deprecating. “You remember that.”

“I appreciated your comfort. I couldn’t forget even if I wanted to.” The last part was delivered so softly, that if they weren’t walking down a long, echoey corridor, it might’ve gotten lost to time.

But Adora often underestimated her fortune in life. A cruel fate would not let her hear these kinds of words.  _ It certainly didn’t sound like you did,  _ Adora would’ve said, but she wanted to keep this blip of happiness for a little longer.

“Were you having a rough night again?” Angella asked. She caught up to her to give her a sympathetic look.

“Huh?” Adora tried to blink off the heart's eyes.

“I’m just wondering what you were doing up and about.”

“Ah, well, no. I was having a sleepover with Glimmer and Bow-” She stopped in her tracks. “Bow!”

“Don’t scream like that. You’re going to bring us trouble.” Angella moved to stand in front of her, arms across her chest. “What is this about Bow?”

_ Oh fuck.  _ Angella wasn’t going to be calm about this at all. Adora braced herself. “I woke up and Bow wasn’t in his sleeping bag. There were only pillows. So I went to look for him and I saw you but I thought it was him or maybe a Horde spy kidnapped him but it turned out to be you and with all this stuff going on I forgot and he  _ could be in danger  _ and I’m  _ such  _ a bad friend and-”

A supporting hand landed on Adora’s arm. “No, you’re not. And it sounds like Bow snuck off of his own accord.”

“Y-you think?”

“Between the pillows and you not waking up to any kind of struggle, I’m moderately certain. Though it does leave you to wonder why he would go through the effort.”

Adora let out a heavy sigh. Angella’s reasoning helped a great deal, actually. “You’re right.”

“What about Glimmer? Where is she?” 

“I left her asleep in my room.”

“Oh, good.” Predictably, Angella was relieved to hear this.

Adora was filled with a sudden urgency to return to Bright Moon, only to find Bow and make sure he was alright. Angella was surprisingly easy to talk to as they navigated the tunnels. Soon, though, it became apparent that neither of them knew where they were going. As they hit a cross-roads, they picked their next tunnel based on which one didn’t have concerning grumbling sounds coming out of it.

“Did you know these existed?” Adora asked.

“Not at all.” Angella sounded bewildered. “They’re quite deep in the woods. I’ll have to make an effort to cover all the manholes. This is a hazard.”

“I worry about the monsters down here. You know, they’re not  _ actually  _ monsters, just...creatures trying to live their lives.”

“I feel the same way.”

They bounced from one topic to another, usually lighthearted, in order to keep themselves from freaking the fuck out about being lost underground.

This wasn’t effective for long. The pair eventually ran into a dead end. Adora gulped, her heart beating with increasing panic as she stared at the solid wall in their path. “W-we have t-to turn around, I guess…”

Sensing her distress, Angella wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She pointed at a wall to their left. “This. This is a map, isn’t it?”

Drawn large above their heads was the layout of the sewers, a complex, interconnected grid of tunnels. It somehow remained legible while covered in all sorts of stains and goo. A huge grin spread across her lips. “A map! And it’s in First One’s script! There,” her index finger reached up as far as it could go, “upper right corner, it says ‘exit.’ And we’re here!” The dot that marked their current spot was vertically closer to the middle. A little ways to go, but they had a direction. 

Such was Adora’s glee that she threw her arms around Angella in a strong hug. She gasped at the suddenness of it, but didn’t let Adora go.

It would’ve been a precious moment were they not surrounded by the sulfurous stench of ancient sewage sludge. 

“There, we’ll be out of here soon and you won’t have to be afraid anymore.” Cooed Angella, meaning to be more playful than comforting.

Adora pulled away. “Afraid? I’m not afraid. I’m She-Ra, why would I be afraid of some stinky dark sewer maze infested with monsters?”

“Mhm. Yes, my hero.” Her gaze was unapologetically deadpan. 

“I’m serious!” She moved to take Angella’s hand. “Let’s just go!”

Angella remembered the map much better than Adora, so she took the lead in taking them through the sewers. Sightings of lumbering centipede-like monsters forced them to stop and wait for their passage. Adora  _ couldn’t wait  _ to be out of there.

Finally, they saw a faint light beaming down at the end of a tunnel. “That must be the ex-” Adora began, but was silenced by Angella pressing a hand to her mouth.

Her moonstone light revealed a  _ pile  _ of goo and flesh, dozens of creatures in all sizes curled up together for a restful sleep.

As soon as Angella’s hold loosened, Adora said hushedly, “maybe this is a good time to teleport again.”

“I am nowhere near as practiced as Glimmer. Teleporting is extremely risky.”

“Weeeell...there are always  _ risks-” _

Angella quirked an eyebrow at her. “Do you want to risk teleporting into a sticky monster pile?”

“...We’re sneaking past them.”

“Thought so.”

They tip-toed around the monster nest, careful not to step on any of the young. Once they got to the main pile, the pair was forced to press themselves against the wall and cross the distance sideways. There was sufficient room to make it all the way through with minimal trouble.

They were greeted at last by the long, rusty ladder that would get them out of there. 

“Looks like it’s almost dawn.” Noted Angella, looking up the hole.

“You go first.” Adora offered with a firm look. Angella seemed to understand that she wasn’t going to budge, and nodded before starting her ascent.

However… “...ora!”

Both froze at the distant sound. “...ora! Adora!”

Adora recognized that voice as- “Swift Wind.” His head peeked into the hole, and his voice reverberated loudly into the sewers. 

“Adora! Are you there?! Adoraaa!”

The slumbering creaturess began to stir. Groans both tiny and large rumbled through as they were forced awake. “Tell him to stop.” Urged Angella, but there wasn’t much Adora could do. Telepathy with her steed was still out of her control.

And it might’ve been too late regardless. The beasts were wide awake, and the largest, oldest ones had the pair locked in their sights. “It’s okay, She-Ra can stop them. Here.” She handed over the makeshift bag of eggs to Angella, hanging it on her shoulder. “Go. I’m right behind you.”

“You better be.”

They shared a nod before Angella was on her way. Adora procured her sword. “For the honor of Grayskull!”

As soon as the tall warrior made her presence known, the monsters stopped in their tracks at a respectful distance and sunk into a bow. There they stayed, even as She-Ra walked away and climbed up.

A tired human in a filthy Horde uniform emerged at the other side. “Adora!” Swift Wind welcomed her at the surface. “What  _ happened?!  _ Why were you down there?! I was so worried, I didn’t know what to do!”

“One thing…” Adora pulled herself onto the grass, “...led to another.” The blades tickled her nose, but she didn’t care. The ground was so  _ soft  _ and if only she could drift off here…

“Really? That’s all you’re giving me? Because I think I deserve more than that!”

Releasing a deep sigh, she pushed herself into a sitting position. “Where’s Queen Angella?”

Swift Wind rolled his eyes, “ _ Queen Angella this, Queen Angella that,” _

“Swifty.”

“She’s over there, geez.” He turned up his nose, stretching a wing past her.

The first rays of dawn poured over Angella, who found a large protruding root to sit on where the canopy parted just right. Soft and peaceful was the light, yet the woman hunched over herself in misery, face obscured in her hands.

Adora gulped in a breath of fresh air before she stood and approached Angella.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, dropping down on the branch right next to her.

“I just need a minute.” 

“Where are the eggs?”

Angella raised her gaze and pointed at the base of a tree a few feet away. There they rested, cushioned by leaves and moss. She-Ra’s cape was gone. “I’ve no idea how we’re going to get the mother here.”

“The mother?” Chimed in Swift Wind, trotting up to them. “Are you talking about that big, angry worm thing that’s racing towards us?”

The monster leapt from the trees as if on cue, but halted its stampeding pace once it spotted its eggs. All else went ignored as it curled up around them for warmth.

“I kind of feel bad that it’ll have to rebuild the nest.” Adora said.

“They’ll have better chances here, away from soldiers harassing them.” She turned to give Adora a soft smile. “They’re kind of cute when they’re not attacking us.”

That caught her completely off-guard, and she couldn’t contain a laugh. “You do you, Your Majesty. I will say- wouldn’t pick anyone else to be stuck in the sewers with.”

“You’re going to have to work on your compliments, love.”

An indignant huff cut through their little moment. Swift Wind glared down at them. “Hello? You both  _ stink.  _ Are you ready to go home?”

As it turned out, Bow had returned to his family’s home. Oh, and he had a family in the woods, two dads who ran a huge library with dubiously accurate First One’s knowledge. Adora made it just in time to hunt Bow down with Glimmer (“where the  _ hell  _ were you?! And why do you smell like toilet?!”) 

All in all, Adora didn’t get a wink of sleep until their return to Bright Moon Castle. The sun was just setting, but she was such an incoherent mess her friends took pity on her and let her rest.

Rectifying her schedule would take a few nights. By 2AM, Adora was wide awake, staring at the shimmering reflection of the nightlight on the crystalline lamps hanging from the ceiling.

Getting up and wandering around the castle was a bit of a ritual at this point. Whether she ran into Angella or not, well...Adora hoped one way, but wouldn’t be surprised if it went another. She hadn’t seen any of her since they parted ways in the woods. Angella flew herself back to the castle, while Swift Wind took a different route (he tried challenging the queen to a race. She bluntly turned him down.)

Was she doing okay? She was probably resting. What about her hand? And did anyone find her out upon return?

Adora found herself in the royal kitchens. Alone, this time. The place was huge and a little haunting without Angella’s presence, but also  _ she was alone in a huge kitchen full of food.  _ Adora had never cooked in her life. This was her chance.

Thirty minutes later,  _ someone _ walked in on her fearfully lowering some dried pasta into a pot of bubbling water. That someone, of course, being Angella.

Adora backed away from the pot with a yelp, pasta still in her fist. “H-hey!”

She, in turn, looked quite nonchalant as she closed the door behind her. “Why am I not surprised to find you here?”

“Sorry. I just-”

She held up a hand to pause her. “Adora, you can do as you please as long as you’re not blatantly throwing away food or setting my castle on fire.”

Adora replied to that with a huge grin. “Okay, cool. Thanks!” 

Angella chose to stand by the nearby island to watch her fumble around. Adora felt her gaze on her spine, and it did nothing to ease her nerves while putting down the pasta to boil. She had faced Horde soldiers, fought her own best friend, and recieved cannon blasts right to the chest, but it was  _ boiling fucking water  _ she was afraid of now.

Finally, the noodles were mostly submerged. According to the little piece of paper that was her recipe, she had to let them cook until they were exactly right. Maybe she was in way over her head.

“So, what are we having?” Angella asked, leaning over the counter. Loops of tape stood out against her lavender fingers. There was a twinkle of playfulness in her eye which suited her quite well.

Adora let herself relax and teased her back.  _ “We?  _ I didn’t realize I’d be cooking for the  _ Queen of Bright Moon _ in my first attempt.” 

“Ah, this is your first time?”

“Not so eager to try some anymore, huh?”

“On the contrary,” she rested her chin on her palm. Her eyes crinkled delightfully with a growing smile, “I’m quite intrigued, now.”

Something about her eyes, or her voice, made Adora’s heart start pounding like she had run several laps at top speed. She tried to laugh it off and ignore the blush on her cheeks.  _ Right, tell her what you’re making, you idiot.  _ Her fingers snatched the recipe off the counter and slid it over for Angella to look at. “I’m making this...thing I can’t pronounce.”  _ non-dairy Cacio e Pepe,  _ read some castle cook’s messy handwriting (and as she skimmed through the recipes laying around, she found an odd trend in the avoidance of dairy and meat products.)

“I’m no cook, but this looks simple enough to start.” She returned the slip of paper. “Shouldn’t you be paying attention to that?”

“Yes! You’re distracting me.”

Adora burned her tongue several times while testing the doneness of the pasta, and wasn’t sure if she was cooking the garlic right. Angella watched her silently. Adora realized she didn’t mind her fixed interest so much now that they...well, now that they were somewhat friendly.

But she had so many questions about the day before, and she had been wanting to talk to Angella for a while. Stirring the little bits of garlic and pepper around, she asked, “how’s your finger?”

“Better. Still can’t use it much.” 

“Is that your dominant hand, or…?” Adora wasn’t really sure what queenly duties were like, but thought they must be a pain to fulfill without being able to write.

Angella made a confused noise. “Hm?”

Adora risked turning away from the skillet to assess what had her so puzzled, staring at her with a furrowed brow. “You know, the hand you use to write and do everything?”

When she did little more than blink at her, Adora started to wonder if she somehow landed in some alternate reality. “Oh!” Angella lit up in realization. “Of course. I’m ambidextrous, so I’ve had no problems in that regard.”

Must have been the late hour making them both weird and a little slow. Adora smiled at her, “that’s really cool.”

Fortunately, the garlic hadn’t burned during that exchange. She proceeded with the recipe. As she poured in the remaining elements, she risked the next question, “why did you...decide to take care of the monster yourself?”

A long stretch of silence followed that. Adora already regretted asking, but she pushed forward with stirring the pasta to coat it in the cheese-like, peppery sauce.

When Angella replied, her voice was quiet and fearful. “I used to be more hands on with the war. This was...almost twenty years ago. Before Glimmer was born. First it was just me. Then I met Micah.”

“Ah.” That name burned her ears in an unpleasant way, like it was forbidden. Like she didn’t deserve to hear it. Adora turned off the heat. “How...did you guys meet?”

“I was still Crown Princess at the time. Etheria was utter chaos, my predecessors were eager to shirk off the responsibility of the war.”  _ Predecessors?  _ The previous king and queen of Etheria? It was hard for Adora to focus on getting the plates and not dropping anything while being bombarded with all this information. 

Angella continued. “I was familiarizing myself with the other kingdoms at the time and, well, when it was Mystacor’s turn, I met this  _ very strange man.”  _ She chuckled, her voice dripping with honey-like nostalgia. “I’ll leave it at that. Our story isn’t the romantic tale you’d expect. Don’t tell Castaspella I said that, though. She would  _ not  _ drop it.”

“Your secret dies with me.” Adora wasn’t sure how the servers did their job at dinner. Not that she hadn’t dined with royal company, but she simply couldn’t care about anything else but the food being placed in front of her.

She improvised as she set down Angella’s plate plus cutlery. “There. Uh, I kind of…” she trailed off, lost in Angella’s eyes. So warm, so peaceful and yielding, like Adora was the only thing that existed.

“Kind of…?”

“I-I overdid it with the salt, so,” she forced a grin, “I’m just gonna call these  _ Adora’s Saltwater Anxiety Noodles.  _ Enjoy. _ ”  _ She finished with a flourish. Her reward: a lovely bouncy giggle from Angella. 

Soon, they were eating together across from each other. Angella chose to wait for her to get her own serving before tasting together. Adora took it as a compliment when Angella assured her that her first dish ever was “more than edible” and “not that salty.” Adora’s untrained palate found her own pasta perfectly decent. She blushed watching the queen eat gracefully, but with little pause or hesitance.

Adora had enough knowledge of etiquette to wait until they were both done to resume their conversation. “So, did anything happen? Back when you fought in the war?”

Angella cocked her head. “What makes you think something specific happened?”

“You panicked, out there. You had a panic attack. Or flashbacks?”

She averted her eyes, choosing to watch the table. “...I hoped that wouldn’t happen again.”

“It’s okay, you know? It… was really common. In the Horde. That once you go out and come back you’ll be scared of things you weren’t scared of before.” It was almost a rite of passage, the mark of a true soldier. Adora had romanticized the idea herself and was eager to go out in the field and return a fully grown, badass woman.

It was funny how the opposite happened. From wanting to destroy the princesses, she became almost desperate to befriend the queen sitting across from her.

It was hard to imagine her on a battlefield, doing the same thing Adora and her friends did. Yet the evidence was there: she was strong, agile, capable, but…

Angella’s eyes flickered, searching for words. “I should...be doing more. I should be doing what my daughter is doing. But...I  _ can’t.  _ I am...I am weak. Truly weak.”

She was wounded. Angella wasn’t a damsel; she was a veteran.

Her heart aching and breaking for the woman across, Adora reached to grasp her hand. The touch was comfortable and welcomed. “You’re tough. Like, you’re  _ really  _ cool. Trust me, I saw. And you kind of saved my life back there, when we were falling.”

“You saw me be useless and retreat. None of that had to happen had I kept it together.”

“You can’t help that. I…” Adora sighed. Mindlessly, their fingers intertwined. “I wish I could help you, but I’m...I’m just a kid, I guess. Barely twenty. You must be like twice my age and...what?”

Angella was giving her a really strange look, lips twitching into a mischievous smile. “How old do you think I am, Adora?”

Did she offend Angella? Did people smile when they felt insulted? Adora licked her lips and shrugged, “I dunno, how old are you?”

She expected to be hit with the old ‘you shouldn’t ask a lady her age’ shtick. Instead, Angella’s smile widened mysteriously. “A hundred and six.”

“Whoa.” Adora’s eyes widened. Suddenly, she couldn’t believe any part of this moment. “I hope I look as good as you when I’m your age.”

Angella (who was apparently old enough to be her great-grandmother?) rolled her eyes, but laughed at the ridiculous remark. If Adora laughed along, it was an odd reaction from the shock of the revelation. She should’ve seen it coming, really. Glimmer didn’t miss a chance to exclaim woefully how  _ immortal _ her angelic being mother was.

Alternatively, she could be dreaming the most vivid dream she ever had.

Angella traced a finger along her knuckles. “Are you left or right handed?” She asked out of the blue.

Adora blinked furiously as she returned forcibly to reality. “Left. Though I learned to fight with both. Depends, I guess?” Adora captured both of Angella’s hands in a weird tangle of awkward affection. 

Their gazes connected. “I just wonder what made you think I didn’t want to be your friend.”

This was awkward, but warm and perfect and  _ theirs.  _ Adora was utterly ashamed of her past behavior, and shrunk at the question. “I’m stupid, I guess.”

“Adora…”

“No, really. I’m  _ very _ stupid. I can only read books with pictures and I have no idea about anything-”

“There’s nothing wrong with book with pictures-”

“-and I thought you couldn’t possibly want to be friends with…”  _ a former Horde soldier, a person you hated,  _ “with me. I thought you just wanted to make sure I was okay enough to be a hero.”

Angella shook her head firmly. “Perhaps I didn’t believe we could be friends, all things considered, but I have genuinely cared about you for a while, now.” Adora thought she saw her cheeks pinken slightly. “There’s...a lot about my past that I don’t feel comfortable discussing, but don’t think it’s personal. I’m...mediocre at connecting with others, as you can see.”

Adora squeezed her hands. If anything, she felt a deep bond with this person. Like they were both...aliens. Misshapen pieces in the large puzzle of Etheria. “I want to talk more. Like friends. Or whatever you want to be.”

“I’d like that very much.”

They spent over an hour in the kitchens. Talking and joking to the very last moment they had to part ways to their respective rooms.

When Adora returned, however, she was greeted by an unwelcome  _ shadow _ that not even the nightlight could pierce.

“You  _ have  _ to let me see her! I know all her tricks and her mind games and-”

_ “And  _ you’re still vulnerable to them.” Queen Angella carried herself differently in her own royal halls, with the weight of the cape on her shoulders. 

She was tall and imposing, but at this point Adora wasn’t intimidated in the least. She argued her case with passionate gestures. “No, I’m not! You have to let me in there!”

Angella lowered her voice, eyes harsh and piercing. “I have seen what Shadow Weaver is capable of. She is  _ dangerous,  _ and I won’t allow her a chance to hurt you again.”

Adora stubbornly crossed her arms, “she  _ won’t  _ hurt me. I’ve had time to become stronger!”

Her wings fluttered with emotion. “Funny. I thought the exact same thing before, yet…”

Adora knew what she referred to. It was all about demons that never quite left. ”Th-that’s not the same.”

“Perhaps not. But you will stay away from Shadow Weaver.  _ That  _ is an order.” Angella left behind an indignant Adora with a snap of her cape. 

“Well-what about  _ you?  _ Couldn’t she, I dunno, do something to you?”

“Casta should be waiting for me at the spare r-the  _ holding cell.” _

Fists balled and a low frustrated growl escaped her, Adora chased after Angella. “You can’t just pull the queen card whenever you feel like-hey!”

A cloud of sparkles later, and none other than Glimmer was holding onto her arm. “Don’t worry, mom! We’ll take care of her.”

“Are you serious?!”

Bow joined in, taking her other arm. “Your Majesty.” He acknowledged her with a quick bow.

“Thank you. Please, keep an eye on her.”

Adora had little choice but to grumble about how mother and daughter finally agreed on something, albeit at her expense.

Making the choice to venture into the Crimson Waste for answers made her feel powerful. As sweet as the exhilaration was, it had to fade eventually. Adora was left to her own racing doubts. Was this truly her own, unadulterated will, or was she playing right into the hands of her twisted fate?

A mindless pawn fooled into some false sense of free reign.

She remained in the war room long after everyone left. A meeting was held prior to discuss the impromptu decision. Angella, as expected, wasn't happy about their plan, even less so when it involved Glimmer, but they made their case. 

After everything was done, Bow and Glimmer tried dragging her to dinner, but she couldn’t stop poring over the maps and documents of the Crimson Waste. If they were going to enter one of the most dangerous regions in Etheria, they would do it right.

This type of meticulous research work was far from her strong suit. It made her feel like she was doing  _ something,  _ though. This soothed her nerves.

She heard someone enter the war room, but didn’t think much of it. It was Queen Angella. She quietly made her way to her tall chair where she stopped for a moment. “You’re a...First One.” Spoken like a statement in a shocked daze, it was more of a question.

“I...I guess, I am.” She spat the answer. Just  _ thinking  _ about how none of this had to happen, none of the abuse at the Horde, none of the wars or the grief, made her blood boil.

Angella must have sensed this, because she didn’t poke the matter further.

From under the war room table, she unlocked a secret compartment of sorts. From inside she procured an old stack of papers. Angella inspected them page by page.

Adora’s lips moved of their own accord, “what’s that?” The sound of her own voice made her wince. “You don’t have to answer.”

“Documents from the old Bright Moon dungeons.” She replied with a weary sigh. “King Micah and I made the choice to close them down about fifteen years ago. Now I’m thinking about restoring them.”

Deep in thought, Adora glanced down at the map on her side of the table. As if she could pay attention to it at all. “What made you decide to close them? Weren’t you in the middle of a war at the time?”

“Things were winding down. We believed we were nearing the final battle, and Micah was the kind of person who believed in the good of everyone.” She shuffled the documents into a neat stack. “He argued that the true solution to crime and evil was through a system of reform rather than punishment. The old dungeons were quite miserable.”

“Yeah. And your spare rooms are  _ amazing.”  _ Adora didn’t mean to sound sarcastic, but she still received  _ a look  _ from Angella. “Does that mean King Micah thought you could... _ reform  _ Hordak?” Her tone oozed skepticism. The idea of  _ good civilian Hordak  _ rang like the premise for a humiliating parody.

“I believe so, yes.”

“I’m sorry, but…” She tried to mask a giggle behind a hand and a feigned cough.

“I know. You and I both know true evil is...indeed very real. And in this castle, apparently.”

Shadow Weaver was the last thing Adora wanted to think about. She looked up, at the large, glorious mural behind Queen Angella, where King Micah was depicted. “He sounds like he was a great guy. I think he was onto something.”

Angella gazed up at the image of her late husband as though he hung the sun and the moon in the sky. “He was brilliant. A treasure in every way.”

No one would ever come anywhere close to him in Queen Angella’s eyes, that much Adora accepted to be true. It...bothered her, though. That, or her hunger was strong enough to make her stomach cramp. Adora wasn’t crazy enough to dare take the place of a widow’s dead husband. She dismissed the odd thoughts. “I’m sorry. I can stop bringing him up if you want.” 

“No, I…” Her knuckles rapped against the table in restlessness. “I...I want to go out again.”

Adora’s jaw dropped. “A-again? As in, another, uh, mission?”

“No! Not-not right now, at least.” Angella was visibly flustered from the blush on her cheeks and her restless hands. “It’s silly. I overheard some of my guards talking about a night out at a nearby town and I...wished that were me.” Their eyes met. Adora felt a current run down her spine. “I wished that were us.”

Such a transparent, heartfelt admission completely took her off guard. But once the surprise passed, all Adora wondered was...

_ Why the hell not?  _

Adora felt invincible, a rush of excitement to make the impossible possible. She leapt onto the table, eliciting a gasp from the queen, and jumped down at the other side, where she could take Angella’s hand in hers. Eyes bright with energy and an uncontrollable grin, she said, “let’s go then.”

“R-right now?”

“Yeah, right now. It’s not  _ that _ late.”

“But I…” Duty pulled her attention to the dungeon papers on the table.

“You’ll have time for that tomorrow!” She threaded their fingers and tugged. "And I'm leaving the day  _ after _ tomorrow, so...now or never, Your Majesty.”

Angella bit her lip, seemingly conflicted, but her real answer was clear in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer just in case: please don't treat your own broken/dislocated fingers (or other injury), go to a doctor (':
> 
> comments appreciated <3 thanks for reading


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings: some blood, mentions of abuse
> 
> also, sex ahead. most of these trigger warnings apply to that scene. Starts at: "They kissed again, each time hotter, each time brighter..." till the end of the chapter. There's an illustration included with no explicit parts showing.
> 
> take care!

It was a nice evening for an outing. The trees danced lazily to the calm tune of the wind before the inevitable stormy crescendo. Moonlight was abundant without large clouds to obscure the three pale faces of the Etherian sky.

Adora was _really_ nervous, and she didn’t understand why. She went out with her friends for fun often enough and it’s not like the “Queen” before “Angella” frightened her as it used to, if at all. 

Knowing Glimmer and Bow would be weirded out by the idea, she simply told them she was going to train by herself in the woods (they easily believed her due to their upcoming trip to the Crimson Waste.) Hopefully, after that, it would only be a matter of fussing over what shirt to wear (though anything that wasn’t Horde-coded would work) and walking outside to her own balcony, where Angella promised to land at 7PM sharp.

7PM was quickly approaching and she was still in a sports bra, deciding between the only 3 casual shirts she owned. She believed her dress from Princess Prom was too formal (and she wanted to avoid wearing it too frequently.) Warfare didn’t leave much time to develop a semblance of fashion sense. 

And because she was Adora and Adora was a dumbass, she lost track of time and only settled for a floral button-up at a quarter past seven. Realizing her lateness, she quickly bolted through her curtains, already muttering apologies, only to find an empty balcony on the other side.

 _Huh, guess_ she’s _late, too._

_Or maybe she stood me up._

_Or maybe she wasn’t late and thinks_ I _stood her up._

_Or maybe-_

A gust of wind dissolved her thoughts. Angella landed neatly on the tiles. “I am _so_ sorry for my tardiness, I found this _enormous_ bouquet of flowers in my room and I couldn’t just leave it there so I had to instruct someone to get a vase and...yes, well. Are you ready?”

Angella looked different, good different. Great even. Casual, yet elegant in a loose wool sweater hanging off one shoulder. No one would expect the Queen of Bright Moon to show up anywhere appearing so relaxed and approachable. Perhaps it was calculated.

However, this thing about a bouquet might’ve dulled Adora’s appreciation. She felt very stiff as she crossed her arms. Her words, which should’ve come out playful, instead resembled an odd territorial growl, “flowers? From who?”

Angella didn’t seem to notice. She was playing with the watch loosely clasped around her wrist. “General Juliet. That’s also why I took a little longer. I wasn’t’ going to _not_ thank her. It was sweet.”

“Huh. I see.” Adora picked at her nails. She totally wasn’t pissed she didn’t think of bringing flowers. 

To show respect to the queen, of course.

“So, how are we-” Adora didn’t notice Angella walking up behind her until she was hoisted up in her arms. “Whoa!”

And she topped it off with a dazzling smile no one could refuse. “Ready to go?”

Her arms were strong and her hold secure, and that soft scent of flowers and _Angella_ tickled Adora’s nose so pleasantly. She felt like a fairytale princess, all delicate and worthy of being swept off her feet. Also helpless. In a bad way. “A-are you serious? I was gonna get Swift Wind to take me!”

Her eyebrows raised in a hint of contempt. “What does _he_ have that I don’t?”

“A…back to ride on?” Adora grimaced at Angella’s frown. “But don’t get me wrong, you’re way, _way_ nicer to look at. I mean…” she whistled.

Angella pouted, though her cheeks turned endearingly darker. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

But despite her demeanor, she wasn’t setting Adora down. In fact, she leapt onto the railing, balancing them both perfectly on her tiptoes. Adora’s hands clamped around Angella’s neck in a fearful, vice-like hold. “O-okay! You’re serious about this!” She stammered, eyes viewing the long fall beneath them.

“Swift Wind speaks too much. I’m sure he’d get word to everyone and their mother the first chance he got.”

“He’s not _that_ bad. I’m like…ninety percent sure he wouldn’t say a thing if we ask him to keep quiet.” Adora contemplated the unimpressed look on Angella’s face before correcting, “eighty percent?”

And then her gaze raised to the clouds, “don’t let go of me,” she warned, before flapping her wings and taking them both skyward.

No matter how brilliantly graceful Angella was as a flier, Adora felt every flap sending her heart higher and higher up her throat. If only she wasn’t at risk of ejecting it out of her mouth, she would’ve made some small talk to keep herself from glancing below.

She only spoke when she noticed how flexed her arms were around poor Angella’s neck. “Let me know if,” _gulp,_ “if I’m strangling you.”

Except Angella wasn’t so _poor._ Serenity smoothed her features. She was enjoying herself. “You’re good.”

Adora might’ve forgotten she was suspended mid-air in someone’s arms, completely at their mercy, for a little bit. Once she rested her cheek in the crook of Angella’s neck and closed her eyes, all troubles seemed to vanish in her perfume.

However, she was no less thankful when they landed. Angella knew to let Adora go right away to feel the ground beneath her feet. “There, that wasn’t so bad was it?”

Adora thought otherwise, stumbling and wobbling while furiously brushing back her hair poof with her hands. Angella had chosen a spot just outside of their destination, still among the trees and vegetation. And, of course, she looked flawless. Not a hair out of place, oversized sweater draping flawlessly in flattering waves over her figure.

“You’re really determined to keep this a secret, huh?” Adora wasn’t sure where this question came from, and she didn’t know what kind of face she was making.

Angella shifted uncomfortably. “You’re not?”

The disappointment was cold and hard to swallow. “Yeah, you’re right.” It’s not like they were doing anything forbidden by spending time together. They were friends, and if Adora thought too long about how it sucked that Bow and Glimmer may not understand that, their evening would be ruined before it began. “A-anyway! What are we waiting for?”

Angella readily received Adora’s arm around her own. Linked together, they walked into town.

Devlan Town wouldn’t stand out against all the other towns She-Ra had to rescue in the past. It was humble, slightly larger than average, and the friendliness of the locals hung in the air in the form of giggles and pleasantries.

But at night, with her arm looped around Angella’s, it looked a little magical. Yellow lamps and fireflies alike hung on cables threaded across the streets, like seams holding the homes and businesses together around the town’s heart: the plaza. As the pair followed the main paths, they came across the dancing and games, feet stomping on cobblestone in rhythm with a catchy, traditional song.

It was different being in this kind of place without the heroism or the worship or…She-Ra. Just Adora the human and Angella the undercover angelic being (apparently she’d been able to hide her wings all along since they were made of magic.) She couldn’t help but smile, feel the thrum of the music in her own bones energizing her.

She glanced up at Angella as she turned to her. Her smile was just as large, her eyes brimming with life and youth. She laughed, “I didn’t know there would be a festival.”

“Then we both get to be surprised!” Adora clung to Angella’s arm and all but dragged her into the fun.

The locals were great hosts, welcoming Adora into their stomping dance with loud encouragement. Angella insisted on watching and clapping along from afar, but Adora used her big blue eyes to persuade her for a minute or two.

Precious were the moments where the graceful queen bounced and spun her around like she was born to move to a beat. It wasn’t about skill or talent or grace, it was about two women being set free, together, hands joined and unafraid.

And then Adora’s stomach grumbled. Right, she skipped dinner.

They left the dance floor wrapped up in cackles. Nobody seemed to recognize them, but the locals clapped at them all the same.

Angella wiped a tear from her eye. “We only just got here and I can already tell I need to get out more.”

Adora tugged on her arm to stop their walk, just so she could look at her in the eye. “That means we’re doing this again? Like, when I’m back from the Crimson Waste?”

The dim fiery lights flickered so beautifully on Angella’s face, like they were hung just for her. Her eyes had never gazed down at Adora with such wishful affection. “Make that a promise.”

Perhaps it was the daze from the repetitive dancing. Adora felt daring enough to rise on her tiptoes and peck her on the cheek. Angella didn’t seem to mind. She gazed at her with that indescribable, intense _something._ “It’s a promise, then. Can we go check the stalls?”

“Of course!”

They had a brief debate at the start of their journey. Angella wanted to spoil her, and Adora was totally into that (in a not-kinky way), but turns out being a hero was weirdly profitable. She was completely clueless about the worth of the treasures in her possessions and, were Bright Moon and its royalty less genuinely kind than it was, they might’ve seized the chance to scam her out of her earnings.

However, Angella herself had been present when the royal accountant broke down the value of all her war treasures. She watched Adora nearly pass out at the sheer amount of digits on the final estimate.

In short, Adora was set for life. Or twenty. If she ever procreated (which she wasn’t sure about) her descendants would live quite comfortably, even those she would never get to meet from being very dead.

“I’m thinking about donating it all for now. I’m sure all the kingdoms could use the funds to patch themselves back up.” Adora threw this out nonchalantly as they idly browsed the stalls.

Angella gasped, the lavender on her face turning a pale. “Are you _serious?_ It’s-it’s a _lot,_ which you’re most definitely deserving of.”

“It would drive me crazy! It’s way too much for me. Look, I came from owning just my uniform, a crayon, a single spare hair tie and an old chewing gum wrapper-“

 _“Why_ would you keep that?”

“Remember that older chick I had a crush on? She missed the trashcan and I picked it up- _stop_ looking at me like that! I was twelve!” Adora’s face grew impossibly hot. Angella did not stop looking at her, and Adora’s hands did nothing to block out her judging stare. “Why do I tell you these things?”

Angella tossed a loose lock of hair over her shoulder. _“Please_ do tell me you’ve thrown that out?”

“Duh!”

Adora was going to get spoiled anyway, a send-off gift for her extended journey to the Crimson Wastes. There were all sorts of stalls lining the plaza and the streets, as well as vendors walking around offering varieties of tooth-rotting sweets or heart-clogging fritters.

While Angella turned down all the food items, Adora got to enjoy some candied lizards while watching her subtly fawn over the overpriced souvenirs. The figurines of local animals and dancers in traditional dresses were cute. Angella purchased a couple. 

They even came across some handmade She-Ra merchandise. (“Wouldn’t you _love_ one of these, dear?” “N-no, stop it.”)

However, even after scarfing down a concerning amount of street food (“She-Ra burns a lot of calories,”) Adora was still hungry, and Angella had had nothing to eat yet. They chose to enter one of the nicer restaurants in town. Angella was still spoiling her.

The interior had a rustic appeal, wooden tables and chairs paired with brick and stone. But it was noticeably polished and calculated, a deliberate aesthetic orchestrated by a rich restaurant chain. Adora was a bit disappointed that they would not be truly eating local. 

The menu was like poetry with mouth-watering pictures. Adora’s eyes sparkled when Angella encouraged her to order whatever. This woman was after her own heart.

Soon it became obvious why Angella had chosen this place when she ordered exclusively vegan items. A smaller business might not be able to accommodate her needs.

“You don’t eat meat?” Asked Adora once the waiter left. She reached out for a napkin to play with right away.

Meanwhile, Angella crossed her arms and got comfortable in her seat. _“Can’t_ eat meat, or most animal products. Though I don’t necessarily lament it.”

“Really? Huh. Wait, what if I’d been cooking something with meat that night?”

“I would’ve had to turn you down, though I know most of the recipes in my castle have been developed to exclude any.”

Her fingers folded the piece of paper this way and that. “Why can’t you, though?”

Angella shrugged a shoulder. “Angelic being…quirk. I’ve been told we can get violently sick from the smallest taste and I’m not about to try it.”

“That’s funny. Funny as in weird, of course.” With her index and thumb she flicked a tiny paper airplane across the table. It was feeble and the paper was soft, so it didn’t get very far before stopping closer to her companion. While Angella’s attention was taken by Adora’s silly creation, she tried asking, “soo…what are the others like?”

“Others?”

“Other angelic beings? You did just hint…”

Angella’s expression was perfectly neutral and indecipherable as she worked the paper between her fingers. “I suppose I did. They’re…I couldn’t describe us in a few words.” She set down her own creation. “We’re all…unique. For better or worse.”

It was the tiniest, yet most intricate little swan made from crappy restaurant napkin Adora had ever seen in her life. She had to lean her chin down close to the table to make out all the minuscule details. The curve of its neck, the little feathers on its wings, the tiny beak. It should be impossible, yet Angella just did it before her very eyes.

But Adora wasn’t stupid enough to miss when Angella didn’t want to talk about something. There was a sad furrow to her eyebrows. “How did you _do_ this?” So she chose to gush over her tiny masterpiece and succeeded in getting a laugh or two.

And then she watched it be murdered when an overworked waiter lowered a huge plate of spaghetti carbonara on top of it. Adora lifted the plate to reveal what was now a crumpled napkin.

“I wanted to keep it.” She whined.

“I’ll make you another one, Adora. You don’t have to look so devastated.”

It was hard to stay mad with so much nice food laid out in front of her. In Angella’s presence, however, she made an effort not to eat like a ravenous caveman.

They spent moments of silence, as well as light conversation in between bites. Adora couldn’t stop coming up with things to talk about with Angella. She had a way of looking right at Adora, attention undivided, as though she were reciting all the truths of the universe. In truth, they ended up gossiping about the King of Salineas, Mermista’s father, who sounded like a bit of a standoffish jerk from her complaints.

As it turns out, the original Alliance barely got along. The King of Salineas, in fact, insisted on flirting with a then Crown Princess Angella, who was already engaged to a younger Micah (“And what did he do? Beat him up? Curse him with sorcerer powers?” “Goodness, no. He aggressively confused him by agreeing with all his compliments until he left us alone.” The more she learned about Micah, the more he seemed like a better person than Adora was. She would’ve definitely thrown hands.)

That somehow brought them to another topic that made Adora’s face scrunch up like she ate a lemon. “I still can’t figure out what those flowers were for.” Angella sipped from her water. “Maybe I forgot my birthday again. That is most definitely a possibility.”

Adora just finished clearing up her last plate when she said, “maybe she likes you.”

Angella cocked her head. “I would hope my own general likes me.”

There was certainly no plan to elaborate any further. She was meant to _nonchalantly_ throw that out, Angella would brush her off, and the night would continue.

Instead, Adora got to sit there opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water. “I-I meant, like, you know…she wants to get in your pants.”

“Really?” Then, she actually looked down to her lap to assess her literal pants, “I don’t think mine would fit her very well. I’m considerably taller.”

“Are you _serious?_ You’re not serious. You _can’t_ be serious.”

But Angella revealed no punchline. Rather, she grew increasingly puzzled. “You’re not making any sense.”

“You’re _serious?”_ Adora exploded in cackles that alerted the entire restaurant to their banter.

Angella sighed in disappointment and stood from her chair. “You’re causing a scene. We should leave.”

Their food was paid for (with an absurd amount of money) and the restaurant was left behind. Outside, the town’s activities had tapered down to a tranquil buzz, and the streets were blanketed by a sleepy lull.

“So what are you going on about with my general?” The tone of her voice made Adora panic momentarily that she had crossed a line, until Angella reached out to loop their arms together.

Adora rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing.”

“No, tell me!”

“I’m just making shit up-“

“But finish what you said. You can’t just throw something out there, laugh at my expense and then keep it to yourself!”

“Let me think about it.” Adora closed her eyes and went _mmm_ for as long as she could without taking a breath.

Angella nudged her side. “Adora!”

“Romantically! She _maybe_ likes you romantically. Don’t take my word for it or fire her. Please.” She turned her head away preemptively, expecting fury or mockery.

Angella stopped their walk. “You think so? Why?”

“The huge bouquet? The way she was flexing her muscles at you that one night at the training grounds?”

“She was…just displaying her swordsmanship.”

 _“And_ she came to threaten me about hurting you. She’s the only one who’s done that!”

It was upon hearing this that Angella’s features displayed a trace of anger. “I will be talking to her about that part. That is unacceptable.”

Adora squeezed her hand. “Please don’t fire her.”

“I don’t plan to, but…goodness, I never considered- these kinds of things aren’t very relevant to me at all, so…” Her gaze drifted, her brow knit together. She was thoroughly distraught by the idea of her general harboring feelings towards her and never before considering the possibility.

It made sense that Angella would have little interest in romance or sex. She was a widow who still loved her husband very much, an angel meant to be cherished from afar by the rest. It saddened Adora. There would always be some kind of distance between them, but for a friend like Angella…accepting this was worthwhile.

Adora sighed. “You’re cute.” It was meant to be acknowledged inward at the memory of Angella being so perfectly oblivious, of her utter fascination at the handmade figurines at the festival stalls, of everything about her that was so raw and pure and priceless.

Angella stared, mouth agape and eyes wide, with a blush spreading across her cheeks. It was like she was _trying_ to prove her point. “Cute? _Me?”_

Adora nodded with comical severity. “Yep.”

Her surprise melted into a heart-throbbing smile. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

Adora’s brand of embarrassment and shock was a lot less graceful, with sputtered words and a deep shade of rouge that easily overtook her fair skin. “I-n-no, cause I’m-I’m _not!”_

“Sure you are. You’re a _marvel_ to look at.”

“Stop! You’re killing me!”

Their bellies full and the town festivities over, their night _should’ve_ been over. Yet neither wanted it to be so.

The pair wandered away from town. Angella was drawn in by a distant sound, that of waves crashing nearby. Adora struggled to keep up with her as they weaved around trees and shrubs, her hand firmly in the grasp of the other woman’s.

“W-what’s the rush, Angella? Hey!”

She didn’t reply. Instead, she let their destination do the talking. They came through the trees and arrived at a beach. 

The tides were high and the waves reached for the moons. The walkable strip of sand was but a narrow track. A group of locals were just wrapping up towels and bags to conclude their own beachside festivities.

Adora looked down at her own clothes. “I didn’t really dress for a swim, but this is nice.”

Angella rolled her eyes and laughed, a lock of pink hair twirling between her fingers.

“You _totally_ wanted to swim.”

“I did not.”

When the waves pulled back, something glimmering white under the moonlight, halfway buried in the sand, caught Adora’s eye. Without much warning, she walked towards it. Her slippers came dangerously close to getting sprayed with saltwater, but she paid it little mind as she bent down to scrape the sand off the object.

It was a conch shell, its bumps and swirls perfectly preserved in one solid piece. Its white, marbly color made Adora think of soft-serve vanilla ice-cream and caramel.

“What did you find?” Angella asked, coming up behind her.

Adora spun around and presented the seashell like she was offering tribute to a goddess. “Look! It’s so pretty!”

While she didn’t seem as thrilled about the discovery (she had probably seen these a thousand times), she was kind enough to humor Adora and contemplate it. “It is, and it’s intact. Honestly, you should keep it.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be able to hear the ocean if you put your ear to them?” She started cradling it closer to her face when Angella stopped her by the wrist.

“No. That is a myth.” She deadpanned. “It’s just ambient noises resonating within the cavity of the shell. You have the ocean right next to you.”

Adora blinked at her. “I’m going to pretend I understood what you just said and get mad at you for trying to ruin the magic.”

Angella scoffed. “I’m trying to spare you from looking utterly ridiculous!”

“I’m going to do it anyway!” She turned her back to Angella and stubbornly pressed the conch against her ear.

The _magical ocean sounds_ resembled damp static more than the wide vastness of a body of water. And Adora did, in fact, feel very ridiculous. “You’re right, this is dumb-”

Despite being the one to issue the warning, Angella enveloped her with a very loving, very rewarding embrace. Her arms circled around her shoulders as she trapped her from behind. Adora was little more than melty butter when Angella’s chin came to rest at the top of her head.

This was...nice. Tender. All the things a Horde soldier was taught not to be, yet her heart had never sounded so whole and full as it pounded against her ribcage.

She still wondered about the suddenness of the gesture. Adora traced idle circles on Angella’s forearm with a free hand. “You okay?” She asked.

She had expected, or rather, _hoped_ for a positive response. Instead, Angella sighed heavily. Their balance shifted slightly as the taller woman allowed herself to pour over the smaller one.

“It’s been ten years.” She began, voice weak and tearful. “Ten long years. I used to look in the mirror and see a woman who robbed a little girl of her father, but now...now I just wonder how I let myself get this way.”

It was hard for Adora to admit that this kind of grief was well beyond her. Many things about this centenarian angelic being would remain larger than life itself for a long time, if not forever.

But Adora tried, and she would continue to try. She would bear all of Angella’s burdens if she could, she would…

For now, she squeezed her forearm in an attempt of comfort. Her mind raced for things to say, from words of praise to whatever limited wisdom she picked up from her ill-suited role models, but it came up blank.

All platitudes, all songs of adoration that would do nothing for a woman who loved and missed her dead husband. It angered her.

It angered her that she would never be...like him.

Her throat went dry. Mountains crumbled, countries flooded and worlds exploded. Everything was terrible as the realization hit her.

Blissfully unaware, Angella continued, “tell me, Adora, am I...am I heartless for wanting to…” her gulps and trembling sighs were loud against her ears, “to _live?_ Even though he’s not here? Even though he-he would be if...it weren’t for me?”

Adora tore herself out of their shared space, stumbling on the wet sand, then turning to face flabbergasted Angella. Her vocal cords strained against the lump in her throat. “If Micah really, _really_ loved you, he would want you to be happy!” The wind blew rebellious strands from her hair poof into her face. She brushed them back. “If I were him? I would...I would be _kicking_ myself seeing you hurt yourself and-and tell yourself you don’t deserve friends or love or happiness!”

But Adora didn’t need to be him to wish for her happiness.

Adora didn’t need to be him to _want_ to make her happy. She didn’t need to be him to…

...love her.

And if Angella weren’t so delightfully clueless, she might’ve realized this exact same thing at the exact same beat, just as Adora’s white slippers received a splash of cold, salty water.

But she didn’t. She was consumed in her own grief, holding herself against the chilly wind and staring at the sand. All while Adora finally understood why all this joy _hurt so damn much._

It was a mirage.

Her eyes stung with fresh tears. “I-I have to go. I’m sorry. I have-” She broke into a sprint, nearly slipping on the sand.

“Adora? Adora!”

She left. Left Angella alone with her sadness, and with each step a piece of her was ripped from her whole. It was too late to take it back. Who knows how long ago she handed it over to a woman who would never quite look at her.

She was a blubbering, panting mess when Swift Wind found her in some fuck-nowhere part of the coast, among some steep rocks and cliffs.

“Holy hay, Adora! Are you okay? What the- what in _Etheria_ happened to you?!”

Her hands pulled at her own hair desperately for any sort of pain that could distract her. “P-please take me-take home! Just-”

“Okay, okay, deep breaths.” Swift Wind didn’t get enough credit. He loved keeping his pretty white coat pristine, yet he lowered himself onto the sand to allow Adora easy mounting access.

His back was large, safe, and stable. She could press her cheek against his coat and pretend she was crying into a firm cloud high up above.

Adora had cried out most of the hurt by the time they arrived at her room, like pus draining out of a wound. What had been a stabbing pain to her gut was now a nauseating ache that had her aiming for the bathroom as soon as Swift Wind touched ground.

Always loyal and nosy, he was sitting outside when she came out.

“So? What happened?”

Adora rested her weight on the door. “I think….I think I’m in love with Angella.”

“Oof.”

“And I still have this stupid thing in my hand.” She spat, pointing out the conch in her grip.

“Oh! Seashell! Pretty!” He leaned in to snatch it away with his mouth, but stopped cold. “Did you wipe with this?”

“No!”

“Cool. Then if you don’t want it…”

“Take it.”

She was more than relieved to let him keep the thing. He grasped it with his teeth and disappeared it under his wing.

But he wouldn’t be distracted so easily. He leaned in close to Adora with an intense questioning stare. “Okay. _What_ happened out there? Why were you at some random beach?”

“We were...going out.”

“On a _date?”_

“No. As friends. We were supposed to be _just friends_ and- and- and I _ruined_ it.” Her breathing turned erratic, her nails furiously scrubbed her arms, trying to reach the filth seated below her skin. “I made it dirty ‘cause I’m…” a corrupt, dirty Horde soldier. Tainted, impure, covered in grime. “I-I don’t belong here, I need-” a shower, desperately. She couldn’t abandon Bright Moon, but maybe she could prepare to rid it of her contaminated presence once everyone was saved.

For now, shower. A futile attempt to cleanse herself of what was irredeemably encrusted into her soul. She wandered off to get a towel, except Swift Wind caught her with his large, feathery wing. “Hey, just chill, okay? You totally belong here. You have a room and everything and you sparkle sometimes!”

“That’s not _me,_ that’s She-Ra! This whole thing is a cruel joke that was forced onto me! I’m not _this!_ I’m-I’m…” alone, stranded with no true family. No true home.

One day, everything would fade, everyone would leave.

“I should go get the others-”

“No! Don’t you dare!” She fixed him with a fiery glare.

“What do you want me to do?!” 

She hid herself in the fluff of his neck. “Tell me how I’m gonna face her. Angella. She totally hates me now.”

His wing pressed her close. “Why would she hate you?”

“I left her there while she was talking about her dead husband.”

The odd strangled noise that he made did little to soothe her. “M-maybe it’s not so bad.” He cleared his throat and adopted a firmer tone. “Okay, look. You have to tell her everything.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

 _“Yes_ and you know that’s the right thing to do!” He pulled away to look her in the eye. “You tell her how you feel and maybe then it’ll make sense why you ran away! It’s not a secret that she likes you, she’ll forgive you!”

Adora narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you mean it’s not a secret?”

He rolled his eyes, nostrils fluttering with a derisive snort. “Everyone sees you talking after war room meetings and in the halls! Look, that’s not the point. You’ll talk to her tomorrow and fix everything, okay?”

She sighed heavily. Truth be told, she was not excited about this solution at all, and had little faith that confessing her stupid feelings would yield anything but...disgust.

Pure, utter disgust from the queen towards a woman she thought she could trust to be a good friend.

Still, Swift Wind was trying to be there for her, even if he was way out of his depth. She hugged his wide neck, nuzzling his nice coat. “Thanks Swifty, you’re the best steed a She-Ra could ever ask for.”

“That’s...That’s the best thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

In less than twenty-four hours, Adora and her friends would be setting off to the Crimson Waste. The idea of leaving Bright Moon without clearing the air terrified Adora, so she forced herself to find Angella.

She should be preparing with Bow and Glimmer, and she would be if focusing weren’t so damn near impossible. She couldn’t stop thinking about her. All her thoughts Angella unwittingly held in her hand by a leash. 

She deserved better, so much better, but Adora wasn’t Micah. The least she could do was try to be a slightly better version of her twisted self, the version that had the courage to put both their minds at ease regardless of consequence.

She must’ve been pacing in the hall just around the corner to Angella’s office for a solid fifteen minutes. The guards at her door definitely noticed her and were certainly discussing throwing her in a “holding cell” for suspected conspiracy against their queen. Adora was terrified of crossing this threshold, of changing everything forever. Of losing Angella.

_Don’t be a moron. You already lost her last night._

It’s not like Angella made any attempt to see her the night prior, or earlier that morning. 

“Right…” Adora stood there, eyes on her boots, lip caught between her teeth.

She wasn’t ready, would never be ready, but fate didn’t care about things like that. It simply... _happened._

Adora approached the door and requested to see the queen. The guards exchanged a brief glance, but in the end let her through.

Queen Angella’s office was as orderly as it could be while displaying an impressive amount of clutter. The floors were clear, but every surface, be it a table or a shelf, was covered in items both relevant to her work such as documents, scrolls, books, pens, etc., and purely decorative. Statuettes, figurines, totems from a mismatched palette of cultures were meticulously arranged by size in a neat, grid-like pattern. Adora even saw the souvenirs from the night before.

The image came on its own to her head: Angella under a dim light after a long day of work, painstakingly organizing her odd collection for pure enjoyment. 

But right now, she stood by a shelf, staring at some document while twirling a pen. Adora’s stomach was twisting itself in painful knots, only exacerbated by Angella’s cool, indifferent eyes falling on her. “Can I help you?”

There was no way of knowing what she was thinking.

Yet Adora, always competitive, steeled her own expression and stood straight and square. “Sorry to bother you here.” She started, respectful and polite.

“I told my guards to let you in whenever. You’re not a bother.” Rather than sounding warm and welcoming, it felt like a stab to the gut. 

This was never going to be easy. Adora shifted, crossed her arms, tried to regain her composure. “Right. Um…” _Deep breath._ “I keep messing up. With you. I’m sorry about...leaving like that last night, instead of being a decent friend.” She stopped for a few moments to gather her thoughts and count the seconds.

Angella, assuming she was done, nodded softly. “I...appreciate you coming to me about this and I accept-”

“No, wait. I’m...not...there’s more. There’s a reason.” Her walls were shattering. Her arms came undone to fidget obnoxiously. Angella was still, like the most beautiful statue crafted by a man who was obsessed with apathy a bit much. _Apathy,_ towards Adora, when just the night prior they’d embraced and danced and trusted one another. 

Adora licked her lips. “I...I have feelings for you.”

That drew a gasp. That pierced the mask.

“Romantic...feelings?” She wouldn’t move from her place, but her eyes were wide. There was fear in her tense muscles. She might also be remembering the silly exchange about General Juliet’s apparent affections and thinking Adora to be some sort of hypocrite.

And Adora felt herself start to burn from shame. “Y...yeah. Yes.”

The two released a sigh in unison, eyes darting about the room as though looking for something odd, something out of place that could serve as an obvious tell that this was all a dream.

But as the seconds ticked and neither awoke, the reality of these moments settled in.

Adora had already made a choice. “I know. I know you probably...hate hearing this, and don’t worry, I never had any funny ideas. I just...realized last night.” For some reason, she laughed. She didn’t know why she laughed. She scratched the back of her neck roughly. “I don’t...think I can be friends like this.” Not while envying her lost husband.

Heels clicked. Angella turned to face her, arms hanging limp at her sides, completely disarmed. 

“Are you sure?”

“You don’t think so?”

Angella struggled to speak, “I-I am... _terribly_ flattered, and not repulsed at all, and-” Her gaze dropped. “If you’re sure about this, then I understand.” She turned around, leaving only her teal cape and long pink hair to face Adora.

It was clearer to see this time.

Angella was hurt, deeply hurt. Adora was responsible, and she wholly regretted it, however late her realization was. She shifted uselessly in place. Her arms ached to hold her, to make all the wrongs right and the wounds heal.

“I’m sorry.” Was all she could offer with the cold, dead chasm standing between them.

“Don’t be. We don’t control how we feel.”

That was that. It was done. Adora tried to moisten the desert in her mouth as she turned to the exit.

“Adora?”

She paused, exhaustion visible in her tired blue eyes. “Hm?”

Angella was throwing her a sideways glance over her shoulder. The sunlight traced the lovely angles of her profile. “Thank you. However brief, you made me very happy. The happiest I’ve been in...so long.” She said this, so sweet and true, with a beautiful, honest smile.

Adora could only manage a nod before slipping away.

She was confused, truly and utterly confused. 

Threats? Mockery? Adora was used to those, but not unadulterated kindness.

Not this kind of heartache that settled in her chest, dull instead of sharp, hot instead of scorching. It felt manageable, like a sickness that would pass, and it allowed Adora to work and interact with her friends like everything was fine and she just had a restless night.

As they went over the details of the Crimson Wastes, anything about possible threats and the environment in general, things seemed fine. Adora almost broke when Glimmer’s aunt, Castaspella, waltzed in bitching about Queen Angella and random details of their marriage that were only relevant forever ago, and exclusively to an audience entirely composed of severely inebriated, and equally petty family members (“What kind of man who’s _in love_ makes fart noises in front of his wife?!” “Please, aunt Casta, not now.”)

Adora was caught between flipping the table or yelling at someone. Instead, she glared daggers into the map, until Glimmer kicked out her aunt as politely as she could manage.

When the night came, Adora didn’t cry or kick or scream. She sat on her bed and...stared.

In less than twelve hours, they would depart for the Crimson Waste. If she was lucky, her mind would be so wrapped up in the chaos of the desert that she would return to Bright Moon as a stronger woman, with no unrequited feelings to make her feel even more like crap.

For now, she got to feel lonely and miserable.

Someone knocked at her door. It was barely 9PM, so Adora assumed it to be Glimmer and went to answer.

It was Angella in her night robe, leaning against the wall by the doorframe, looking tiny with her arms crossed. 

“Walk with me?” She asked.

Adora deliberated for a few moments, scrutinizing the frown on Angella’s face, then shrugged. “Okay.”

Adora had no reason, nor desire to be a jerk to Angella now that their friendship was over. For all she cared, she would still do a lot of things if it meant making her happy.

At this point in time, it simply meant being patient. After turning a few corners around the castle, it became apparent that Angella had no idea where she was going. Adora let her be. She walked a few paces behind, fidgeting with her pajamas while surveying the same paintings that she always encountered on the daily as though she were seeing them for the first time.

She wasn’t an art connoisseur. All landscapes looked the same to her. Someone would probably have her hung for thinking that.

Angella turned with no warning. Adora nearly tripped over herself trying to prevent awkwardly walking into the taller woman’s chest.

“Do you mind if we talk in here?” She asked, too distraught to notice any fumbling. 

Adora gulped recognizing the pattern of the spare room door. It made her think of Shadow Weaver, briefly, but this couldn’t be her temporary holding cell.

Angella elaborated, “I have guards at my door, and I would rather no one overheard…”

Neither could meet the other’s eyes. Adora shrugged yet again, absently rubbing her elbow. “Sure.”

In they went, Angella holding the door open for Adora. No one witnessed them disappearing inside.

Adora remained close to the entrance. It felt too suffocating and uncomfortable being any closer to Angella, who chose to step further into the room and leave the lights off. The darkness would swallow their words. The moonlight would only let them see each other.

“I suppose I’ll just bring it forward.” She bit her lip, then connected their gazes. “I think...I have feelings for you as well.”

Adora’s eyes were droopy with fatigue of all sorts and little else showed on her face for the longest time. The confession hung between them and resonated within Adora’s skull over and over and over again until-

Until it hit her like a cold wave and her jaw dropped.

_What?_

Angella’s response to the silence was to ramble. “I-I’m most certainly being thoroughly irresponsible for mentioning this. I shouldn’t, we shouldn’t-”

Adora only noticed her feet giving in to the insatiable pull drawing her in to the angelic woman until they were mere inches apart, and she had to tilt her head back to ever hope to see her face.

From her questioning, yet tender stare, down to her parted lips holding an unspoken inquiry, everything Adora saw pleaded for her to draw closer. Adora’s hands searched for her neck, sliding up the fluffy material covering her shoulders tentatively.

“Adora…” This could have been a protest or a plea.

Adora leaned closer, discarding some silly ounce of pride that protested against her standing on her tiptoes for a kiss. This kiss was worth it. To kiss an angel, one had to reach higher.

Her angel hesitated even as their breaths entwined.

_Come on…_

_No one has to know…_

The voice, the words, they weren’t Adora’s. They belonged to a raspy voice, far too young for Adora’s adult mind. Back then, however, it made every hair on her body stand.

She didn’t want this. Didn’t want _her._ Adora didn’t remember ever not wanting _her_ until now, and desperate to escape the darkness that summoned her memory closer, Adora took a single step back, choking on a gasp.

But Angella caught her, with her arms and her lips.

Adora’s mind went blank. Mountains crumbled, cities flooded, worlds exploded, and everything was wonderful as long as she could taste sweetness and smell flowers.

They drifted in a fragile paradise.

It was finally broken by Angella, who pulled away as though she’d kissed a white-hot rock. “You’re my daughter’s friend.”

Adora felt every bit like she crashed down from space. All sorts of currents cycled from her head to her toes, round and round, making her feel euphoric. She felt invincible. Everything was possible, and what was Angella going on about? “Wh...so what?”

She fidgeted with the collar of her robe in a way that made Adora’s heart flip dangerously. “It’s-it’s gotten hot in here, hasn’t it?”

“Are we losing our minds?” Adora started pacing around. “What are we doing here, Angella? What do you want?”

“I- What do _you_ want?”

“You!” She held out her hands as though showing her to an invisible audience. “But…” She pointed at her own chest, face contorted in defeat. “I’m not Micah.”

Befuddled, Angella cocked her head. “You...what?”

“Don’t try to pretend like I’m not making any sense. You miss _him!_ You love _him! I’m_ not him! And I couldn’t be your friend because you’ll be talking about him and all I can do is stand there and feel like _shit_ because I’m She-Ra, but I can’t bring him back and I can’t- _Mmm!”_

She was swept off her feet and silenced by a lip-lock in one swift motion. Adora was filled with all things good yet _steaming._ Her arms and legs wrapped around Angella, and she hoped that her death grip would convey how deeply frustrated in every possible way Adora felt with this woman.

The rough affections were returned as she was pinned against a cushion. It felt like falling, but landing in something soft and safe, then opening her baby blue eyes to see the color of peaceful dawn reaching into her soul.

So peaceful, so kind, that no shade of anger could blot out its goodness.

But Angella did try to scowl down at her, hands planted at either side of her face, halfway kneeling on the cushion with her hip flush against where Adora burned most.

“What kind of person do you _take_ me for? You think I would replace my- you-” The growl that rolled between her teeth was glorious and rumbled deep within a dumbstruck Adora’s bones.

They kissed again, each time hotter, each time brighter, from lips touching to tongues caressing, to Adora’s hands grasping at Angella’s robe and pulling.

Angella broke their kiss. “Are you...sure?”

Not _we shouldn’t do this,_ not _this is wrong._ And certainly no mention of a daughter or a friend.

“Are you?”

“I…” Her gaze drifted down her body. “I want to see you. And be closer to you. And I don’t think I’ve wanted something this badly in so long.”

“Then yeah, I’m sure.” A smirk drew across Adora’s face, impish and taunting. “Fuck me, Angella.”

She giggled. “Do you have to make it so tawdry?”

An ounce of hesitation possessed Adora, and she added, “you have to promise me you’ll be here in the morning.”

Her smile softened. “I’ll wake you up if I have to go to work?”

Right. Compromise. Adora ran a thumb along her cheek. “That’s fair.”

“You have to promise me something too.” She grew stern as she covered Adora’s hand in hers. “You won’t mention Micah at all. Not tonight.”

Adora’s eyes widened. She wasn’t ready for the confusing wave of heat that hit her upon hearing that. “I…” A gulp, “okay.”

Angella descended upon her neck, peppering it in kisses, her whispers fraying the nerves in her skin. “This...this is ours. And I want to believe that’s okay.”

“It is. It totally is.” She firmly agreed, hoping it meant something now if it didn’t before. Her hands tangled into Angella’s hair and encouraged her along.

But when Angella’s fingers slipped under her shirt, Adora stopped their journey. “W-wait. You first.”

Angella didn’t complain. She grinned coyly and rose from the cushion, stepping into the cascading silver from the nearby window.

Her fuzzy robe slid off her shoulders, a curtain falling to reveal a masterpiece of a woman. A subtle, slim beauty, with angles both powerful and sublime.

And her nipples were dark lavender. Interesting.

She lingered there, posing just for Adora’s feasting eyes. Her body drew a delicate S as though she would freeze at any moment. A statue to be idolized for the rest of Etherian history.

Some would try to find shapes and numbers and sequences to explain her beauty, but none would understand the way Adora did that Angella simply was…”perfect. You’re perfect.”

Angella bit her lip and flicked her long locks of hair over her shoulders. “I know.”

_Holy fuck._

Adora was _not_ perfect, not in the slightest, and she had no idea how she was supposed to keep up with these standards. Suddenly nervous, she gripped the fabric beneath her for dear life as the angelic being (who somehow appeared enthralled by her) crawled right back on top of her, eyeing her pajama top as if it couldn’t be gone soon enough.

“Um, Angella, I don’t-I’m not like you, okay? I have...scars and…”

Her fingers pulled at the hem of her top. “I’m going to show you how _utterly divine_ I think you are.”

“By hitting me with your thesaurus?”

“You’re the _worst.”_ Her chest was nude in the next moments. From then on, Angella’s touch did the talking.

That night, the queen worshipped the warrior. Angella traced shapes on her skin with her lips and her fingertips. From Adora’s toned shoulders, her powerful arms, her sensitive breasts and her sculpted core. She watched Angella’s face closely, anticipating the moment she found a scar and stared upon it as a fault or realized her tits were less than ideally shaped, but there was never anything short of love in those eyes.

Adora’s other senses took the stage as her eyelids fluttered closed. For once, she felt like a masterpiece; for once, she felt elevated even as she was held down.

It was glorious and cleansing, and even before Angella found her most aching place, she saw paradise.

Her fingers sank into her desperately dripping folds. Her touch was light yet thorough as she mapped the area like she did the rest of her. Testing, learning, experimenting, all while she kissed Adora’s collarbone and whispered sweet nothings about the lovely sounds Adora made, both above and below.

Angella eased into her entrance.

Adora felt a hand over her mouth, claws sinking into her cheek, a rough voice that stung as it told her to keep quiet or the others would wake up.

Claws, sharp, painful as they found her tender place and-

 _Gasp._ Her whole body clenched shut, and her instincts turned the tables so Angella would be beneath her, overpowered instead of overpowering. Adora panted heavily, sweat pouring down her face, and only took a deep gulp of breath when she saw the concerned, gentle features that watched her from below.

Her hands cradled her cheeks. “Did I hurt you?”

Adora shook her head no. Angella’s nails were modestly trimmed.

“Were you...thinking about someone else?”

“N-not because I wanted to!” Adora wasn’t sure how she guessed. Was her reaction _that_ telling? Her joints buckled and she let herself be enveloped in her kind embrace. “It...it used to hurt. When she did it.”

“Did you love her?” Angella softly combed through her blonde hair.

“I think...I don’t know.” She glanced up at her. “Can I touch you?”

Angella pulled her in for a long kiss, then said, foreheads pressed together, “please, touch me.”

Adora couldn’t possibly let down such a heartfelt request. She got herself together, then eagerly flooded Angella in her affections. She memorized her curves, memorized her flavors and the feeling of her silky, firm nipples in her mouth.

She was careful, however. The Horde taught her how to hurt, yet Angella trusted her, gave herself to Adora willingly. Her teeth urged to bite, her nails ached to scratch, but she poured her heart and soul into caressing her way down Angella’s body, feeling the tremors in her stomach as she gasped the further down she traveled.

Adora’s chest swelled with power when she placed each of Angella’s legs on her shoulders and indulged in her folds.

She feared she was enjoying herself more than the subject of her skillful tongue ministrations. Her senses were overwhelmed with music and aromas and textures, and the sight of Angella gazing down at her, arching as she was brought closer to climax yet grasping for something to hold.

Adora abandoned her spot between her legs to fall into her arms. Angella embraced her tenderly, needy and yearning. Adora’s fingers took care of her below, twirled the nub which she learned was her most sensitive spot and far more effective than exploring inside. 

“Adora...I…That’s…” 

“Good? Is that good?”

“Yes... _More.”_

Her head blank and overwhelmed, Adora pressed her teeth into Angella’s shoulder, working her wrist, rolling her hips against her and rocking them both. Finally, Angella’s restraints came undone, and throaty gasps ascended into unabashed moans of pleasure.

Something else took over as the heat flooded them. Adora wildly pushed against Angella, her fingers assaulted her with stimulation, her jaw clamped into her skin.

And when all slowed down back to ground level, Adora tasted warm metal on her tongue. She released her bite and pushed herself up in horror. “Oh, fuck!”

“Huh?” Angella was dazed and confused.

“I-I, uh, I bit...I bit you. And I drew blood.”

She felt her own bleeding shoulder and inspected the dark substance on her fingers, only to shrug it off and roll onto her side. “It’ll heal.”

“A-are you serious?! I just- I _bit you!_ You’re bleeding!” For all Adora was freaking out and waving her arms dramatically, Angella was the calmest she’d ever seen her.

“You said I was tough, didn’t you? Now, I _will_ get mad at you if you don’t come down here and cuddle me.”

Kneeling there, halfway straddling a sleepy Angella, Adora crossed her arms and pouted at this utter weirdo she just slept with. The only revelation that came to her was that she wouldn’t change this for the world.

“Yes, ma’am.” Adora lowered herself behind Angella, and relished in how large it made her feel to be spooning such a tall, beautiful woman. And it was only fair that she lapped up the dark red beads on her shoulder before they dripped down and made a mess.

“That tickles.”

Perhaps Adora was a little feral. Perhaps Angella was a little strange. 

But if this is what their _Eden_ looked like, then...that was fine.


	5. Chapter 5

Mornings were always tired, or filled with the dread of unending tasks and battles ahead of her. This time, however, Adora stirred and felt nothing but happiness. The warm chest under her cheek, the way Angella _still_ smelled of flowers and freshness and spring after a night of sex.

Adora worried about her own odors. She propped herself on her elbows to find Angella was wide awake and casually breathtaking in the young sunrays of a new day. 

Perfectly content, too, offering a lovely smile and slow-blinking eyes. “Good morning, love.” She had been holding Adora, perhaps even watching her, and the hand that rested on her back idly traced lines and shapes.

Already blushing and grinning like a fool first thing in the morning, Adora leaned down for a chaste kiss then nuzzled Angella’s neck. “Hey.” She was so soft and cuddly. How was Adora supposed to go back to waking up alone? How was she expected to keep her hands to herself after this? “You...you don’t regret anything, right?”

“Not one thing.” Replied Angella with no hesitation. “And I’m not sure what that says about me.”

Yet, her reassurance did little to assuage Adora. Face scrunched up with guilt, she left their cozy nest and stood. 

“Where are you going?” Asked Angella with a hint of alarm, sitting halfway up.

“I just…” They were both still nude and the cold air bit into her arms. Adora reached down for her shirt and held it over her chest. Her shameful eyes remained fixed on the floor. “A-are you sure about this? I’ve been awful and weird to you and I’ve hurt you, and I bit you last night! Maybe I was too rough or-”

“Adora.”

Her rambling halted.

“Look at me.”

She obliged. And goodness was Angella gorgeous, spilled across the large cushion, her eyes so soft and yielding. “I would not have participated in anything we did last night if I didn’t...have faith in us.” She held out a hand. “Do you have faith in us?”

Adora dropped the shirt in her grip, letting it crumple to the floor, and took Angella’s hand. “Y-yeah.” It was a half-truth. Perhaps her intense want and desire to be with Angella could translate into some sort of faith, or cosmic will to let everything fall into place.

Their bodies molded together so perfectly as they curled into each other. Adora surrendered into their shared heat with a sigh. “I...I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I want...to make you happy.”

A slender finger traced hypnotic loops on Adora’s shoulder. “Then we talk. And we try to be honest about our feelings. I admit I could’ve been...less distant. And I apologize for that.”

Of course a once-married woman would know exactly what to do. Adora snorted derisively, “you’re fine.”

“Adora…” 

“I’m the one who has to be better.”

“That’s enough.” Angella wrapped her arms tightly around Adora and squeezed her. “We both have things to learn. I...you’re going to laugh at me.”

“Huh?”

“I hadn’t slept with a woman before.”

“Huh?!” Adora twisted around to face her. “I don’t believe you.”

Angella gave her an odd look, still smiling. “Why would I lie about something like this?”

“You knew exactly what you were doing to me.”

“It helps to have similar anatomy!”

“Don’t believe you!” Adora rolled back around, this time with a soft grin. “Though now I’m worried. First time with a woman and she _bites_ you.”

“Oh, stop it.” Angella drove her point home by enveloping her in an embrace, then running her teeth softly along Adora’s ear. “Would you do it again if I said _please?”_

Hot currents easily overwhelmed her and threatened to short-circuit her brain. “Y-you stop it. It’s too early!”

Adora didn’t really understand why Angella liked her so much, yet there they lay, holding onto one another as they clung to these precious moments before the start of their respective days.

They stayed there for a while, cuddling and casually chatting about shampoo or whatever (“your hair smells nice, Adora. Coconut?” “Yeah! It makes my hair shiny for a little while before it gets all dry and frayed and ugh.”) The increasingly bright sunlight became hard to ignore, however. Angella had duties. Adora had a mission. Neither wanted to leave the other.

But up they got, then slipped into their clothes from last night. Angella fretted over the mess they left on the cushion, over how she was already late to her office, over Glimmer, and over some weird geometry shenanigans as she stared out the window calculating the best route to fly out of the spare room unnoticed.

All Adora knew was that it was too early for this shit. “Angie, you’re worrying too much. You don’t mind if I call you _Angie_ , right?”

“Huh?” Angella turned away from the scenery outside. “Oh, no. To both of those. I’m worrying a very appropriate amount.” She paused for a beat, then faced Adora with concern coloring her features. “I’m not ready for this to spread around, especially not right before you leave. I...I hope you understand.”

Adora tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear. No further explanation had to be given. They shared the same concerns over Glimmer finding out. Though Adora was probably worrying the most about Bow.

But she knew Angella needed her to be strong. Adora smoothed her features and reached for her hands. “Yeah. I do.” Then, she tried a smile, “we’ll figure it out soon.” She bit back an uncertain _right?_

Angella bit her lip, joy lighting up her face, then pulled Adora in for a chaste kiss. “Thank you. Though...there’s still the matter of trying to get out of here.”

Adora rolled her eyes. “Look, you’re the queen. You own this castle. You can do whatever you want in it! If that includes fucking She-Ra, then so be it!”

Angella gave her a furrow-eyed, unimpressed look.

“I guess…” Adora brushed back her messy bangs, “that wasn’t the right approach?”

“Why is it always that word?”

“What word?”

“You know... _the_ word.”

“Fuck?” Angella nodded. Adora stepped closer. “Do you hate cuss words? I can try to stop saying them. _Try._ ”

“No. I _do_ dislike saying them, personally. I just think ‘lovemaking’ sounds...prettier.” She blushed, making her pout all the sweeter. “More appropriate for what we did.”

That drew a smile of endearment from Adora, who couldn’t help but put her arm around Angella’s waist. It was more of a comforting gesture rather than provocative. An affirmation of closeness. “You’re really cute.”

“You keep saying that...”

“It’s true! But I also meant what I said earlier. You should be able to walk out of whatever room you want without shame. You’re Queen Angella! If you wanted to spend the night here, then who can judge you for it?”

Angella leaned into her, crossing her arms and letting out a troubled sigh. “I wish I could believe that, but you’re underestimating how much people _love_ gossip. If we walk out together and _anyone_ spots us…”

“Easy. I’ll wait here and leave after you.”

“But Adora…”

“I don’t mind, and I bet Bow and Glimmer aren’t even up yet.” And she also couldn’t reveal her true plans of climbing her way out. It would perhaps be more subtle than Angella’s flying if she avoided most of the outer walls.

Angella couldn’t just let it go, though. She had to step close and play with the mismatched ends of Adora’s bangs as though they were filaments of pure gold. Her bangs. Which she kept hidden as a hair poof because of how hideous they were. 

And then she had to say words that struck her heart like a love arrow. “But I wanted to spend more time with you…”

Adora turned red and meek, fidgeting with her top. “A-Angella…”

“Before you left. To the Crimson Waste. With my _daughter.”_

 _Sigh._ She was not going to get over that, no matter how many times they went over it the other day in the war room.

It only dawned on Adora then, as she took one of Angella’s hands in hers, that “this isn’t going to be easy, is it.”

“...No, it won’t.”

“But you still want to try?”

She smiled. “I made myself pretty clear, didn’t I?”

Adora didn’t understand why Angella liked her so much, not at all, but at least she could believe that she did. She could trust in her affections and her words, and the fact that she was still here and...she could have faith.

Adora trapped her in a strong hug. “We’ll spend lots of time together when I’m back. I’m still keeping that promise I made the other night.”

“Promise me again, Adora.”

“I promise.”

Even with the promises and the lingering touches, it felt like the burst of a bubble as Angella left the room. Before she crossed to the halls of her castle, though, she turned to Adora and briefly mentioned...something peculiar from their encounter. About Adora’s own demons making themselves known.

“I just want to know that you’re okay. I’m open to talking about this.”

“Thanks, I...I don’t know if I should but, thanks.” And it really did mean a lot.

Once she was gone, Adora considered the climbing option. Instead, she settled for taking a thirty minute nap and leaving the spare room when there was no one around.

She met with Bow and Glimmer for breakfast. They briefly (and playfully) berated her about not answering her door when they came knocking and her room being empty (“so you’re just teleporting into my room? What if I’d been naked?!” “We thought you were in danger!”)

Fortunately, they didn’t grill her about her actual whereabouts. The small group buzzed with excitement and trepidation about their soon to come adventure.

Adora briefly saw Angella once it was time to leave, outside the castle. She was the queen, all cape and gloves and reserved, tight posture. She fussed over Glimmer and whether Bow was prepared (to take care of Glimmer) and whether they were truly sure about this and it was never too late to back down.

But as long as Adora didn’t back down, neither would her friends. 

They couldn’t kiss. Didn’t hug even if it was acceptable. Adora and Angella waved at each other from a respectable distance, but the smiles that were exchanged did enough to bridge the gap as memories of the night prior buzzed under their skin.

And they were off.

Among the scorching sand, the hostile denizens, the chaos and corruption and deceit, Adora didn’t have much time to think about Angella.

She still felt a guilt-born aversion to looking at Glimmer in the eye.

Their plans fell apart when Catra found them. It was odd to see her again, so gleeful with a desert gang in her command and Adora under her thumb. Yet again.

It was odd to feel like a traitor towards someone who had spent so long trying to hurt her, and succeeding.

It was odd...it made Adora _so_ angry. It made her fight all the more against her restraints.

The anger followed her into the _perfect world_ the portal created, even more persistently than Catra did as she tried to convince her that this was real, that the reality in which Adora was a hero for the Horde, destroyer of Theymor, was _perfect._

She was furious with herself that a part of her was sated with the kind of twisted approval she had been fighting to earn for almost twenty years. That of Shadow Weaver, of the rest of the Horde, of Catra…

And yet everything was so wrong. Adora saw it so clearly even beyond the mind-warping paradox all around her.

It was so wrong how she still cared about Catra.

And then she stumbled into Bright Moon and was captured. Made to kneel before the throne, where a queen and her _king_ sat. It was an odd kind of deja-vu. Flames devoured her already sore heart as she watched just how happy, how assured Angella seemed by King Micah’s side.

He looked nothing like his murals. The worst part, it wasn’t a bad thing. He was every bit the powerful sorcerer, the unshakeable rock Angella needed and Adora couldn’t be. She was just too broken, too corrupted.

But as She-Ra, she could not let Etheria fall apart, so once King Micah performed his truth spell, she explained all she could. She did tell Angella once that she wasn’t a very good storyteller. It held true even in the most dire of times, so much so she chose to imply Micah’s death.

And then, with a sword pointed at her by the dearest General Juliet, Adora asked. “What did you do yesterday, Angella?!” The words caught in her throat. She remembered their _yesterday,_ suddenly, the day before she left Bright Moon. But Angella glared down at her so intensely that it mattered very little. And, of course, the world was falling apart because of a portal.

She continued, “go on, try to remember-”

King Micah cut in with a gentle tone, “you don’t have to do anything, Angie.”

“You can’t! You can’t remember! Because…”

Something shifted in Angella’s eyes, from blind queenly hatred to...that angelic gaze of hers, aloof yet intense. Otherworldly as she saw beyond what the rest could. And she saw _past_ Adora.

“Angella?” Tried Micah. Rather than acknowledge him, Queen Angella descended down the stairs, one by one. The entire room held its breath as her intentions remained in mystery.

Adora gulped, head tilted back. Shackled and forced to the ground, she felt fright at the sight of the queen towering above her. She could hurt her on a whim, without having to touch her or say a word, even. Her indifferent gaze alone was making it hard to breathe.

Until she knelt and, somewhere in the middle of those motions, sympathy filled her vacant expression. Mere inches apart were their faces. Adora’s lip trembled, that scent of flowers still hung around her.

“There’s something odd about you.” Said Angella. “Micah has _never_ failed a spell, and…Who _are_ you?”

Doubt. Angella was _doubting_ , even with her husband at her side and her kingdom glowing with faux peace. Adora steadied her voice as much as her nerves allowed. “On your...on your shoulder. Your right shoulder. You have a wound.”

Their eyes never broke contact as Angella slipped a hand under her cape. Her gasp said it all.

“And you can _sense_ magic. You can probably sense something coming from me right now, huh? Or maybe-all over? Because of the portal? I don’t know how it works…”

All her hopes were killed the moment Angella walked away to stand at King Micah’s side, refusing to acknowledge her presence or her pleas. King Micah simply ordered to have her taken away.

Perhaps Angella remembered; she simply preferred this reality.

Once inside the “holding cell,” Adora planned to wallow in angst until she found a second wind deep within her, so she could lunge through her heartbreak and somehow find Bow and Glimmer. She stumbled across the spare room, all floor and walls without a single cushion in sight, and leaned against the window.

Outside, she saw the destruction catching up.

The click of the door handle announced an arrival. Adora focused on the reflection on the glass. It was Angella.

She closed the door behind her and leaned her weight against it. “I had a bad feeling about all of this. I think that’s why I had you make me all those promises. Not...that it helped.”

Cautiously optimistic, Adora turned around. “You...you remember me.”

“I remember everything.” An idle hand grazed over her right shoulder. Her eyes were closed, contorted in pain. “I...I wanted, I was preparing to infiltrate the Fright Zone, to rescue you. I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. Not my daughter, not Bow, not the princesses, not…”

“On your own?” Adora crossed halfway through the room. She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing, and she paled thinking about what would’ve happened with Angella had she had time to go through with her plans. 

“I can’t stop thinking about all the things I could’ve done differently to prevent this.”

“There’s _nothing_ you could’ve done. Catra wasn’t going to stop at anything to achieve this.” She reached Angella to grab her hand and guide her to the window, where cracks ripped through the forests and consumed the horizon. “Can you see this?”

“I can.”

“Can you believe I tried to save her?” 

Somehow, upon this admission, all Angella offered was the deepest look of admiration and sheer empathy. “Yes.”

But it was not what Adora wanted to hear, not the punishment she deserved. “I don’t understand you!” She shrunk to a ball on the ground, sobbing and shaking as though she had any right, or any time. “You sit there for months and you hear my whining every night and you somehow like me and-and I can’t bring myself to be a true hero! I can’t stop seeing Catra as my _friend_ when she hasn’t been in-in forever! And I can’t figure out what the fuck I need to do next!”

The room was filled with the rustling of royal clothing. Angella sat right next to her on the floor, back against the wall, long legs stretched out before her. 

When only silence followed, Adora continued spilling out her thoughts, “I’m so happy you get to see him again, Angella.”

“I thought it’d be different.”

“Huh?”

“Seeing him again. I thought it’d feel different. Instead...I couldn’t stop noticing that something was missing. That I was _trying_ to be happy instead of... _being.”_ A tiny sob was the tell to the silent tears that spilled down Angella’s cheeks. Her jaw tight and her brow set, she continued in a firm voice. “We might’ve failed them, Adora. We might’ve sinned by moving on. But we can’t…” Her chin trembled. Glistening eyes found Adora’s baby blue. “I can’t fail my daughter. I can’t…”

Glimmer. Bow. The princesses. All the towns and all the villages filled with innocents, old and young, wanting to live their lives. Wanting to look to _the future._

None of them could wait for Adora to feel clean and whole.

And yet Angella was the first to find the strength to rise again and offer a hand. Adora accepted the help, and let Angella pull her to her full height.

“Etheria needs you to be She-Ra.” The queen implored, pressing her warrior's knuckles against her lips so tenderly. “Please.”

“But I don’t know where to go…”

“I’ll go find Glimmer and Bow, then we’ll figure it out together.”

Letting Angella run off was the last thing she needed. But...Adora had to trust her, had to be strong. She gave her a firm nod, squeezing her fingers, and Angella took her leave.

It was when her friends teleported in shortly after, no Angella in sight, that Adora felt ill to her stomach. Something terrible was about to happen.

It should’ve felt cathartic to punch a monstrous, distorted Catra right across the face while delivering a speech about accountability. That creature was so unlike the woman, the girl who once showed her companionship. She might’ve never been just that.

Instead, hollowness carved out her chest as the ground split open beneath her. She rushed downwards, watching the bright pink spirals of light rip apart her world and her once friend. And, as her hands faded to nothing beneath her eyes, she realized it was coming after her as well.

 _It’s over._ She was the last one standing, but not for long. All she could wish for was that her friends, that _Angella_ didn’t suffer.

If only she could see her again, just to feel loved one last time.

“Adora!” 

She gasped. Sure enough, an angel sped towards her, wings gliding her along the chasm of light. “Hold on!” Angella plucked Adora from certain death. Her grip was solid and secure as they landed on a patch of grass.

Adora was reluctant to part from her comforting touch. In her arms, she almost forgot the world was tearing itself apart. But Adora pulled away regardless, albeit somewhat shaky on her own feet. “You keep saving me from these huge falls.”

“How can you joke at a time like this?”

“I just watched everyone vanish in front of me, I’m trying to…” both sets of eyes drifted towards a blue glow in the sky; the Sword of Protection floated above at the center of the storm, “...cope.”

Adora realized what to do, then. She found her beginning, found her sword, found her destiny.

Angella let go of a shaky breath. “D-did you say _everyone?”_

She swallowed thickly. “They’ll come back.” The spoken reassurance brought a smile to her face. It was a simple trade. The path was clear. “Everything will be fine, soon.”

Adora dared not look upon Angella’s features as she strode forward, towards the sword. Her boots thudded against the grass. The drifting rubble beyond the island formed a road of stepping stones just for her, as though Etheria itself were so politely requesting its due sacrifice.

But Adora shouldn’t have expected Angella to remain the kind of woman who simply sat there and watched things unfold. Perhaps before, back when it was only her grief and her guilt.

Right then, Angella spun her around with a strong yank to her shoulder. _“What_ are you doing?!”

“What needs to be done.”

“Talk to me, Adora.” She didn’t need to scream for the severity to carry across. Her eyes burned with determination. Adora saw her own willingness to die in them.

“F-fuck, Angella…” Fists clenched, eyes shut, she resigned herself. “The sword. If I remove the sword, the portal will be closed and everything will be fixed-”

_“But?”_

“There’s always a catch, Angella. _The_ catch.”

A single second ticked by. “If you pull out that sword...you won’t make it back?”

Adora shook her head, glaring through the ground beneath them. A distant rumble echoed from somewhere. It couldn’t be good. “I-I have to do this.” She successfully slipped from Angella’s hold on her shoulder, only to be caught by the arm and pulled towards a taller body.

Chests flush together, noses mere inches apart. Angella was gorgeous in the unnatural light of the apocalypse. “I won’t let you.” 

Adora clung to her resolve. “But you _have to.”_

“I can’t.”

“You _have_ to!”

“I love you.”

It struck her like lightning, crackling, spreading over the dark clouds of a hot volcano. Adora felt the tears at the corners of her eyes like lava. “I love you too.” _Breathe in, breathe out._ “And Glimmer loves you, and Bow, and everyone, and they _need you home.”_

But all she did was smile, like all of those things were secondary. “You deserve to know what it’s like to be free.” 

Free from the Horde. Free from Catra. Free from She-Ra too, perhaps, and her duties toward Etheria.

Angella was a hundred and six years old. Yet Adora believed that she, too, was yet to experience this simple joy.

A single tear escaped, then journeyed down Adora’s cheek. “I wanted to find out together.” 

Angella bit her lip. The emotions were overwhelming her, as well. But _fuck_ was she fast, letting go of her arm just to dash past Adora and any attempt of hers to catch her. Howling in pure frustration, Adora raced after her, even as her wings fluttered, then flapped, then carried her into the air and towards the sword.

Adora didn’t halt her running. She pushed forward, and pushed and pushed, as though Catra were chasing her from behind, as her world fell apart right before her eyes. She aimed for the stepping stones, floaty rocks in the nonsensical void. One after the other she leapt, rising and rising until she saw her opening and tossed herself on top of Angella.

Her balance was thrown off completely, her wings struggled against the new weight. Adora dug her nails and fingers into her torso. Angella grunted and struggled, but didn’t have the heart to cast her into the abyss and place her faith in that, once the portal was dealt with, Adora would be alive and well.

So she was forced to send them barreling back towards the grassy patch of land. Both took a hit as they bounced off over and over, dragged by the momentum to carve a trail into the ground.

Adora clawed through the pain ringing from head to toe in order to stand. Angella beat her to the punch, almost literally. She had a staff aimed at her, King Micah’s staff. Where did that come from?

Perhaps the sorcery wouldn’t respond to her will, but one end was sharp and the other blunt, and Angella was no stranger to either. Adora clenched her jaw. Her mind raced for openings, or possible feints or tricks to create one. Both women panted heavily. Both were tense and scared.

But neither would back down, not even as the cataclysmic beams of light closed in on their tiny island. 

Adora dashed sideways, Angella attempted to cover the area. Their distance closed further and further between their dodges and footwork, and as Adora chanced a jab right towards Angella’s beautiful face (that was definitely some form of treason,) her cheek slipped right from her reach, and something cold sliced right through Adora’s middle.

This was enough to send her tumbling down with a cry. Her arms clutched her stomach. Hot liquid inexorably oozed from the cut. It was shallow, but _painful,_ and effective.

Angella stood the victor, but she didn’t relish in it. The staff dropped to the ground, her lip quivered as she apologized. “I-I’m sorry! I...”

Adora wriggled uselessly on the ground. “Y...you’re not fair...at all. This- this is _my_ destiny...”

“No. You _don’t_ understand. This isn’t your fate. It’s... _mine.”_

“But what if I fail!” It hurt to scream. It hurt her throat, it hurt her stomach and her heart. “What if I fail and all of this is in vain and you did this for nothing!”

Angella gazed at her, hair swirling in the winds of the vortex. “As long as you take care of each other...you’ll find a way.”

There was a lesson in there somewhere, something about kindness and compassion and empathy championing all that one only truly believed after a hundred years of bullshit.

“Tell Glimmer I’ve always been proud of her.”

But Adora didn’t care, she was watching a woman she learned to love with everything race towards her demise as if it were the one thing her life amounted to. “No…” she reached out with a hand and a desperate scream, “Angella!”

Adora couldn’t bring herself to watch. Maybe she should have. Maybe she owed Angella that, if anything.

When her eyes opened, she wasn’t in her room. None of this was a dream. It was real, and she was still suspended on a piece of land with the Sword of Protection laying on the grass next to her cheek. Every part of her trembled, agonized from the inside to the outside. Invisible flames of grief and anger ate her alive, but refused to kill her.

She crawled towards the sword. _Take care of each other. Take care of Bow, and Glimmer, and Etheria._ If not for herself, then for Angella. Her hand, soaked in red, closed around the handle.

Whoever, or whatever in the fuck _Grayskull_ was, it demanded some form of dignity before she was bestowed with She-Ra’s power. Adora struggled to kneel, struggled to even focus her sight but once it did…

She saw...something in the distance, among the rubble surfing in a vacuum of eerie stillness. The light of a sword. The bright red jacket of another young, doe-eyed blondie who lost something, but not everything.

Adora rubbed her forearm across her eyes. She must be going fucking crazy, or reality itself was. She had to get out of here.

Raising the sword high took everything in her. “For the honor...of Grayskull!”

It was a shock to see Shadow Weaver freely moving around and _helping_ them.

It was a shock to see that, indeed, everyone was alive and in one piece.

And it was a shock to learn that she had to be the one to break the news to Glimmer, that her mother was gone, had given her life for them, and left Adora with a nasty wound that was bleeding all over the floor, right under the cool light of the Moonstone.

“Why did she…do this to you?” Started Glimmer, kneeling in front of her as did all the others in deep concern.

“Because I tried to stop her.”

And then she succumbed to exhaustion.

Quicksand swallowed her in her dreams. She did nothing to stop it. She just wanted to sleep.

However, as soon as she sank far enough, she jerked awake. There she lay, whimpering between quick breaths. Crystal lamps hung from the ceiling. Adora was in her room.

She moved to sit and, as soon as she engaged her abdomen, the pain that shot through told her all she needed to know. Angella was truly gone, Bright Moon Castle was without its queen, and reality had crawled on without her.

Despite the pain, she forced her legs to dangle over the edge of her bed and relied on her arms to elevate her torso. The movement startled two occupants that remained unseen until they rushed to her side.

“Adora!” Bow ran in, then Swift Wind, both beside themselves with worry. “You should...lay down. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” He coaxed her to lay back down. Adora was too sore to protest. “The healer said that wound looks uglier than it actually is and you’ll be fine, but, you know, take it slow?”

Groaning and moaning, Adora asked, “where’s Glimmer?”

“She’s _not..._ doing good.” Said Swift Wind with a grimace. 

Bow continued. “Wanted to be alone in her room. I didn’t wanna leave, though. She was being...really hard on herself.”

“How?”

“Something about being the worst daughter ever…”

Adora shook her head. She knew, first hand, that Angella believed this to be far from the truth. “I have to talk to her.” For Angella’s sake, she had to stand and make sure Glimmer felt better.

Bow tried to stop her, offering a reassuring smile. “It’s okay! I’ll take care of it. You gotta rest.”

She looked at him in the eye. “How are _you_ doing?”

His optimism faltered. “I...I’ll live. It’s just...I knew her, you know? For a while. She was always there, kinda like...a mom?” He shrugged. “I wanna think she cared about me, too.”

 _She totally did._ Angella cared far more than she let on, always, but thinking about this, believing it in her heart, only made the loss stab deeper. Made the guilt throb harder. What would Bow think if he knew...

Swift Wind, seeing the little light fade from her features, stepped closer. “Hey, I got something that’s yours.” From under his wing he plucked out something white and twisty, which he placed right on top of Adora’s chest. “You should keep it.”

“What’s that?” Asked Bow with sudden interest.

Adora instantly recognized it once she grasped it. “A seashell.”

“It looks big, where’d you get that?”

No reply. Adora awas hurting and sad and giving a damn about anything and everyone else (as much as she wanted to) was extremely taxing. She brought the seashell to her ear and pressed it tight against her face. Her eyes closed. The ocean roared.

Quicksand turned solid, though still damp from the waves lapping at her ankles. The night was dark. Angella laughed as she gazed at her foolishness with such adoration.

No, she wasn’t dead. Couldn’t be dead. She was just...gone.

But there was still a coronation to be held. Adora didn’t see much of Glimmer in the coming days. At first, it made sense, since she was forced to rest in her room until her cut wasn’t at risk of splitting back open. Angella had done too good of a job immobilizing her back there. Adora didn’t feel any resentment at all, though.

But then she started getting around the castle with little trouble and realized Glimmer was probably avoiding her.

These few days, she spent most of her time with Swift Wind. While he had little skill or experience with the nuances of grief, he provided his ear to vent. He was the only friend she could truly confide in. He sort of knew about her and Angella (and maybe thought it was a little weird, but if they got along and Angella wasn’t merely taking advantage of her, he was all for it. Or would’ve been. If she were still around.)

When it came to Glimmer, Swift Wind managed to convince Adora that she had to be absolutely swamped with coronation details. Being so overwhelmed with sudden power and responsibility, it made sense that she had no time or energy for friend stuff.

It still hurt. Adora ached with loneliness, and she wanted to feel worth _something_ by looking out for her friend.

And, well, she also saw her with Bow the other day, and they talked just fine, or as fine as one could with the dense miasma of grief lingering everywhere.

For her own piece of mind, she convinced herself that Swift Wind was right, even though somewhere in her heart she knew this wasn’t the case.

Coronation day came. It hurt to see everyone treat this as a death. Angella was somewhere, alone, trapped in a place of no return.

Perhaps that was the very definition of death: the irreversible state of being _not here._ Regardless of a belief in an afterlife or a limbo or something in between (Adora noncommittally assumed the existence of some sort of heaven,) everyone still called it the same: _death._

Was Angella scared? Was she in pain?

Adora could hardly get herself through slipping into her red dress before breaking into sobs. She collapsed on her bed, rocked back and forth as the worst case scenarios for Angella’s fate bombarded into her mind.

_Why her?_

If Adora had been just a little bit more competent, perhaps, none of this would’ve had to happen. She could blame Catra, curse the moment she pulled that lever, throw dagger-like glares at her whenever they crossed paths, but it wouldn’t change the fact that maybe, just maybe, _Adora could have helped this._

Is this what Angella felt like with Micah? Was that comparison extremely unfair? Probably.

 _Coronation._ There was a coronation ceremony to get through. Adora let some tears spill before going to the bathroom to wash her face. She hoped that, by draining this wound in her room, she could get through the day surrounded by everyone else.

There was a knock on her door. “Coming!” She dabbed her face with a fluffy white towel (tried not to think about how it reminded her of Angella’s robe) and moved to answer.

It was Glimmer, no taller than before yet somehow older in her new queenly attire. Or maybe it was the austere expression on her face.

Glimmer almost never knocked. It was most likely at night, to make sure Adora wasn’t asleep. Other times she just teleported in, and she was yet to stumble into something she regretted.

Adora, mistaking her demeanor for solemn grief, mimicked her face. “Hey.”

“We need to talk.”

Something was off. Adora’s heart started pumping faster. Wordlessly, she stepped aside to let Glimmer through.

The air was stiff. It was nothing like talking to a friend. Adora took the liberty to sit at her bed again. The sadness was such these days that even standing upright was a challenge. Glimmer was faring better, at least, or she was forced into being a little stronger than everyone by the cape weighing down on her. 

She began. “I-I haven’t...looked through my mom’s stuff, yet. Don’t know if I ever will. I…” She clenched her fists, her jaw tightened. “I want to know what was up with you and my mom.”

“What...do you mean?”

“Remember that one night I mentioned seeing you guys in the kitchens? That wasn’t the only night.”

Adora sucked in a breath.

Something other than barely held together composure showed. It was hurt and betrayal. “Did...did you meet up to talk about me?”

Adora wasn’t quite sure what she was getting at. “No? We talked about, well, me, and stuff, but not...we didn’t complain about you, you barely even came up-”

“Did she ever tell you you were like a daughter to her?”

“No!” 

“That she wished I were more like you?!”

“Of course not! We were dating!”

Silence.

Dating was a weird way to put it. It sounded...nice, like a fairy tale. Something light and pleasant, though the real and very brief deal had been more of the latter and none of the former.

It was heavy as lead, so when Adora dropped her bomb, it sounded like one, and Glimmer stared at her like she just blew up the castle.

“S-so…” Glimmer started. “So, when-when I saw you guys holding hands that one time it wasn’t...you were...you were being _gay?!”_

“I-uh, m-maybe, but we weren’t anything at the time!”

Murderous anger lit a spark in Glimmer. She creeped closer, hands clawing at Adora. “You! You and my mom! You were- with my mom!”

Adora stood abruptly. “So what?!”

“That was my mother!”

“So you thought she was gonna sit there and be miserable for the rest of her life?! Grow up!”

Glimmer lelt out an animalistic growl and lunged at her. Adora was fucking ready. Angella would be thoroughly disappointed in both of them and neither really cared.

“G-guys?!” Bow, however, had impeccable timing. He threw himself between a god-like warrior and a fully-powered queen for the sake of friendship. “Stop! This isn’t the way to do this!”

Glimmer pointed an accusatory finger. “She was-she- with my _mom!”_

“Wh-”

“We were in love!”

 _“What?!_ Okay. Enough!” He pushed them apart with a strong shove to the shoulder. A firm glare halted Glimmer’s second attempt to attack, but he finally looked Adora’s way. “What...happened, Adora? From the top.”

Recalling everything filled her with yearning for something long lost, but she did so anyway, for the sake of her friends. Deep down she acknowledged Glimmer deserved answers. The two were tense strangers before they were strained acquaintances, and Adora remained vague about how that turned into friendship. “Then I...I realized I had feelings for her, a-and once I did I told her, but just so she knew that I couldn’t be friends anymore. I didn’t think...I didn’t have any intentions, you know?”

Her two friends had taken seats on the bed by her. Glimmer couldn’t take the news standing, Bow thought it was prudent to stay between them at all times, as something of a mediator and shield (though he was clearly as puzzled, perhaps even a little bit betrayed himself.)

“Adora...she was my _mom.”_

“Glimmer-” Bow started.

“I know that! I always thought about that, but like...I just got to know her, and she’s so friendly and kind and has this insight that’s like really smart but also really weird sometimes? She never forced me to do anything, always wanted me to be comfortable, always listened to me and even opened up to me about things and I...I stopped seeing her as just...queen or friend’s mom and…” Adora shrugged. Nothing that came out of her mouth made anything sound better or wipe the incredulousness from her friends’ faces.

“When did it start? Between the two of you?” Asked Bow.

Adora’s gaze dropped. She hoped that they understood she wouldn’t provide details. “The day before we went to the Crimson Waste.”

Her friends shared a glance, eyes widening. They were coming to a realization. Suddenly, it was obvious what Adora had been up to that one night she went missing from her room.

Glimmer abandoned the bed to pace circles in front of them. “Were you even planning to _say_ anything?”

“Yes! Angella...she was worried about...everything, about you. She was scared.” When no one said anything, she continued. “She...said she was proud of you. Before she left to close the portal.”

“I have to go.” With that, Glimmer flashed away.

 _Fuck._ Just like she had warned Angella, Adora was ruining everything. She flinched when Bow’s hand landed on her back.

His brow was furrowed, but he didn’t judge. “Were you happy, at least?”

Her smile was real. “Yeah.”

Adora attended the ceremony, but not the trials. She was left behind while Bow accompanied Glimmer. The other princesses gave them odd glances which Adora didn’t entertain. She stood there and soaked in the pain of their fractured friendship.

Looking upon the icy statue of a Queen Angella peacefully holding her daughter’s hand, Adora thought to herself just how terrible everything was.

She kind of wanted to go wherever she went.

It was late at night when the festivities wrapped up. Nothing was resolved, but no fights were had, so at least that was a start?

When she returned to her room, she looked upon the Sword of Protection for the first time in nearly a week. The nightlight (she couldn’t possibly get rid of it) illuminated the sword in its warm glow. Adora noticed something was off, a detail lost to the angst that permeated everything.

A cloth wrapped around the handle. A _glove,_ she realized once she unwrapped it and held it draped over her palms. It was Angella’s. The fabric reminded her of the queen rather than the angelic woman, of those restraints she struggled to shrug off, but it was hers nonetheless. It smelled of her too, so faintly. Adora did feel wrong pressing it to her nose, but whatever.

She figured she should give it to Glimmer. It was her mom’s, as she so pointedly reminded her at least fifty times in the same day. So she went to her quarters (she had refused to move to the queenly chambers) and knocked meekly.

“Here.” She offered it with reverence. She couldn’t look her in the eye. “It was Angella’s. Left it tied around my sword for some reason. You should have it.”

“No, I...I think she meant for you to keep it.”

Adora then risked finding out how Glimmer was regarding her. She was exhausted, eyes droopy, but smiling weakly. There was no malice, no bite, no sarcasm.

“Glimmer, I dunno…”

“You made her happy, right?”

Adora paused. “She said I did.”

“Then…” Glimmer shrugged, “I’m gonna have to be okay with that.”

This was the sliver of peace Glimmer had chosen to cling to, that her mother experienced happiness before her end.

Time went on. The Friend Squad seemed to heal for the first few weeks, but the new position changed Glimmer, changed all of them.

Angella might’ve failed her daughter by only showing herself as a fearful, hesitant queen, thus leaving behind this crooked, failing blueprint of leadership. One which Glimmer frantically sought to embody and defy all at once.

They argued, fought, disagreed, disobeyed. Adora learned the truth about Mara and Light Hope. They found Micah, a new portal was opened, and she experienced pure agony when Etheria forced its magic through her flesh.

They went to space, faced a tyrant, saved and restored a planet. Adora ventured alone into the Heart with the glowing glyphs of a failsafe code on her chest. She almost gave up, almost let She-Ra slip through her fingers and Etheria obliterate her.

But she remembered that Angella died so she would live on.

And after all was said and done, after Horde Prime was cleansed from the universe and she gazed at a new dawn, she realized.

Angella was _not_ dead. It could not be that simple. She was _gone,_ and as long as this was the case, Adora’s job was not done.

She’ll find her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second one (The One Who Fell) is probably getting major changes. Writing is such a non-linear affair. I know it's kinda weird but thank you for sticking around :'l
> 
> I don't plan on posting again until act 1 of fic 3 is completed (it's most of the way there, though I do have some original projects to take care of.) I might make a tumblr post at some point explaining my current process.
> 
> I didn't think I'd care so much about this story when I started it, but here we are. Again, a thank you to those who read and leave kudos and comments. At the end of the day, I put as much work into this as I do because I feel like it (that's fanfiction), but your feedback does help motivate me. I want to see this through.
> 
> Till next time. Take care!


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